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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I want to leave my partner with our 3mo

7 replies

Getmeoutofit · 09/07/2022 10:49

I’ve had enough of him. He’s a good dad don’t get me wrong, will do anything for our DS, but I cannot stand him.

He’s ignorant, he lies to me, he’s rude to my family, gives our baby-free time to his Xbox etc. We barely engage in conversation unless it’s an argument about him not listening to me when I speak and I feel trapped in this shoebox apartment we live in. When the baby goes to bed he powers the Xbox up straight away and I have to go sit quietly in the bedroom with the baby because I despise being ignored. I can’t even ask him to leave because his dad owns it. I have no idea where to go or what to do but I know I can’t stay here and I sure as hell will not be leaving without my son.

I’ve told him I can’t stand living here and he keeps telling me to leave. I can’t see myself being here by the end of next week let alone the month. Has anyone been in this situation? There’s no room at either of my parents house for me to even consider asking as my younger siblings still live with them, my grandparents do have a spare room but I feel like a burden going to them. I don’t have an income as I didn’t qualify for maternity pay due to not being in my job long enough, I just have child benefit for DS’s nappies and milk etc.

OP posts:
Outfoxedbyrabbits · 09/07/2022 10:54

Go to your grandparents'. That's what family are for. Are you not eligible for maternity allowance instead of maternity pay?

ChickenOfTheSea · 09/07/2022 10:54

You're going to have to go to your grandparents. If you were my granddaughter I wouldn't see you as a burden. Speak to them and if they can't or wont your parents will just have to make room until you are able to support yourself and get a place.
If you go to the council, you would be making yourself intentionally homeless because the relationship isn't breaking down due to domestic violence and would be safe though unhappy to stay.
So if you really don't want help from family you will have to find a way to stay sane with him until you can afford to leave.

PutinIsAWarCriminal · 09/07/2022 10:55

I am sure your grandparents will prefer you to be a "burden" to them instead of being trapped in a miserable relationship.
Once you are with them you can start to sort out what you are entitled to in regards to child support and benefits.
This is based on what happened in our family: After a couple of weeks ask your grandparents to write to you (for the benefit of your local housing authority) giving you notice to leave. This will put you on the waiting list for housing.

Jewel7 · 09/07/2022 11:18

Find your local housing association and put yourself on the list so you can start applying for housing as a single parent. Go and chat with your parents and grandparents and tell them how unhappy you are. Hopefully they can help you come up with a plan. If you
go on to entitled to you can find out what benefits you would be entitled to in a change of situation.

Cherrysoup · 09/07/2022 17:23

I bet your grandparents would happily have you. Have you asked?

Branleuse · 09/07/2022 17:28

Go to your grandparents

ItsNotNormalLove · 09/07/2022 22:41

You say he's a good dad but I'm here to tell you that a good dad doesn't treat his child's mother like crap. And keep arguing and telling you to leave? I see that as abusive.

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