Did I do the right thing?

[Cornwalll]

Sorry for the long post. I feel really heartbroken over a relationship I have ended. We were together previously for 2 years, I have never been with someone I have been so compatible with. I felt completely in love.

We discussed our future and when we would try for DC. I really expected us to spend our lives together, but around the 18 month mark he started acting unpredictably. Being paranoid about me going out with friends, giving me the silent treatment for days on end with no reason at all that I could figure out. I ended up feeling anxious constantly and I had no previous issues with anxiety.

I couldn’t stand the dynamic, we ended things and were separated for over a year. But I always had that ‘what if’ thought, I dated a couple of men during this year but he was never far from my mind.

He got back in contact with me this year and it felt like it did at the start of our relationship. We spoke about everything and he acknowledged he had been paranoid and made things bad, he said he was having issues with mental health which he is now getting support for. I agreed to try again with our relationship. I never fell out of love with him, I genuinely haven’t ever experienced being in love with someone like this.

Im sure it will come as a surprise to no one, but his jealous and mean behaviour started back up again. He gave me the silent treatment for almost a week because I went away overnight for my best friends birthday, it ruined the entire trip and I felt tearful the whole time. He didn’t apologise and he essentially turned it all on me.

i knew it was the start of the same issues we had last time, I ended things with him on Tuesday just gone and told him why. He refused to acknowledge any wrongdoing, I deleted/blocked his number after breaking up with him in person. I know logically I made the right choice, but I feel really upset about it.

I suppose I just want some reassurance that I made the right choice and that even though I feel completely in love with him still, I was right to end our relationship as soon as he started being unkind again.

Thanks in advance 💐

Definitely the right choice!

You have so done the right thing! That’s no life, having events that should be happy made miserable because of his controlling jealous ways. Don’t go back there!

Speaking from experience. Things usually get worse. You don't want to feel anxious like you did, forever. He would never change. You gave him a chance and he blew it, doing the exact same thing he did before. You will find someone else. And this loser you went with, he's a lesson to you now. You will spot the signs easier if someone else like this comes into your life.

Well done, OP. You gave him a second chance and he went back to his old ways, so you know you haven’t acted rashly. A week of the silent treatment because you had a night away for your best friend’s birthday? He should get a grip, FFS.

He’s mentioned MH problems, but it looks as if that’s just an excuse, to stop you complaining. He’s not doing anything about his behaviour, is he.

Congratulations on leaving him.

❤

You did the right thing. No doubt. I'm sure you know this, but these situations can escalate so fast. Well done for recognising all the issues.

He is controlling and abusive. Imagine how children brought up in this situation may have been affected, it shapes the rest of their lives.

You did extremely well !
Let this be a life lesson: it is extremely rare that people change.
A good thing is, you recognised it and you put a stop to it.
Well done !

You absolutely did the right thing. I imagine it was incredibly difficult but well done for recognizing it starting to happen again and getting out.