Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

2 year old DD’s grandmother asked her

9 replies

Anon778833 · 09/07/2022 06:08

‘Why don’t you love me?’ Dd has only met her a handful of times and is anxious around people she doesn’t know.

The grandmother makes no effort to come and see her - she sits in a chair, expects me to take dd there and just expects innate love to grow from a blood connection.

I was taken aback by how fucked up this was. Even her dp pulled her up on it.

OP posts:
GiltEdges · 09/07/2022 06:14

🤷🏼‍♀️ Are you looking for advice of some sort?

chilledbubble · 09/07/2022 06:39

Have you invited her to your house?

Danikm151 · 09/07/2022 06:44

Love shouldn’t be demanded. Kids need consistency and interaction to know you are a dependable person.
a 2 year old doesn’t understand that. If she says it again just call her out on it.

Original poster
Anon778833 · 09/07/2022 06:53

chilledbubble · 09/07/2022 06:39

Have you invited her to your house?

She won’t come to anyones house because of Covid. I understand the anxiety around this. But she also won’t meet anywhere else either like the park.

I was posting because I’m annoyed at having to deal with disordered behaviour in family members that are not even my own. This is DD’s paternal GM. Her father and I are not together.

Nobody has the right to expect validation from a child. Too many people take their baggage from their own childhoods and dump it on other people. Usually their children.

OP posts:
chilledbubble · 09/07/2022 08:06

Ok then leave it up to dad to sort out any contact on his time. It's not your responsibility.

Original poster
Anon778833 · 09/07/2022 09:08

You’re right. It is not my problem.

OP posts:
Mariposista · 09/07/2022 10:12

If she is putting covid over forming a relationship with her grandchild, she is not worth worrying about. Presumably she is vaccinated? How precious.

Original poster
Anon778833 · 09/07/2022 15:32

Yes she is vaccinated and so are the rest of us. Any relationship has to be a two way street. I think she expects it all to fall into her lap with zero effort. 🤷🏻‍♀️

OP posts:
tiramisualwaystiramisu · 09/07/2022 20:19

My MIL is the same - expected me to bring my DC over regularly and that they would develop some amazing bond when she barely acknowledged their existence when they were there. She's never said anything that direct, but she does huff that they don't want to hug and kiss her when she's mostly ignored them while their visit and talked at DH instead.

Mine are older now and I leave it to their dad to decide when he wants to take them over.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page