Baby keeps screaming when going to one particular person

[user1482791321]

Hi there,
I was just wondering if anybody had any advice please or have gone through a similar thing…
I have a 6 month old who is generally quite good at going to other people however when she goes to my parents she screams the place down to the point where she is hyperventilating and it absolutely breaks my heart to see because they absolutely adore her and I’m worried my anxiety has rubbed off on her… (let me explain!)
So when I was growing up I lived with both my parents and my dad had severe mental health issues that my mum never “shielded” me from and at times it impacted my childhood and my adulthood massively.
This has caused many arguments over the years as I always just craved a “normal upbringing” and I do have slight anxiety around my parents which has been deep rooted since I was a child and they know this, however since they have got older my dad has “mellowed” and is now a doting grandad and my mum is a doting nanny and they both absolutely adore my baby.
I am due to go back to work in the next couple of months and my mum is having my baby 2 days per week but I’m so worried as I said she screams the place down whenever she goes to them.
Last weekend they took her for a couple of hours and the whole time she screamed the place down and when she got home she was whimpering all afternoon, I just don’t know what to do because I need to go back to work and I can’t afford nursery fees for those two days (I am going back four days, MIL having her one day, nursery one day and my mum the other two days).
As I said she’s not like this with anyone else and the minute I leave the room and she’s left alone with them she’s screaming and hyperventilating.
I feel sick to my stomach about leaving her when I go back to work and I just wondered if anybody had any suggestions…
Thanks all xx

Yep. My daughter was this way with her grandma who adored her. Her father would have to take her to another room to calm down. She outgrew it by about 1.5 years.

She may associate going to your parents with you leaving her for longer periods so it might not be personal against them.

Has she been in nursery? Done a couple of days?

There must be a catalyst. Environment. Sound. The way they make a fuss. The way you leave perhaps. All triggers for little one.

Try and come up with a distraction tactic and if possible, don’t over emphasise your own exit. In fact consider leaving discretely.

I think an analysis of the adult behaviours rather than baby’s are where you need to look and adjust from there.

Could be difficult if they’re sensitive or unwilling to listen.

Thank you Kathy - that has given me some reassurance! I was/am just so scared she’s picked up on my anxiety around my parents even though I act really “cheery” around them as I never want her to feel anxious because they really do adore her!
❤️

OP do you resemble one of your parents closely?
My ds always screamed with dh's db and we realised it was because dbil looked like dh but wasn't dh and it just scared him.
If so then your dc will outgrow this.

My DS is like this with my dad, we couldn't figure it out for ages, until my father in law grew a beard at Christmas! Bam! DS would scream with him as well when he'd previously been one of his favourite people! He hates anyone with a beard! I'm obviously not suggesting both your parents have a beard 😂 but just saying it could be something quite minor (to us) that just scares them. Is it a smell? A sound? With little ones it could be something very small

Thanks for your advice ❤️ I’m just so nervous about going back to work anyway I feel this is just another added worry!