Will council help if you have a mortgage but need to leave the relationship

[Concernedfrien]

Good evening , I’m wondering if someone can help me . Basically I’m posting on behalf of my friend as she doesn’t know where to turn for advice .
she has been with her partner around 15 years , they have a 12 year old daughter and have a mortgage on a house that was her other half’s late mother .
her partner has always been terrible with money , and has always smoked cannibis . However around 4 years ago he got addicted to heroin , he didn’t pay the mortgage for around 6 months or any bills , took all the money my friend had and basically made a massive mess of their lives . He eventually sought help and is now in recovery and has been on methadone for over 3 years . He said he turned to heroin when someone at work offered it him and he was in a dark place ( he’s got no family of his own they’re all deceased or estranged )
my friend chose to stay with him and get him help , she got him a new job at her workplace , she got him medical help and he was doing really really well .
the last 6 months or so he’s been asking her for money constantly. After her gets paid he buys his weed , pays her back money he owes her then he has nothing . He’s constantly asking for £20-40 each night for cannabis , saying he can’t sleep without it . He’s fully manipulating her ( says he’s sorry and he knows his making her life a misery , but will ask for money regardless )
she knows she needs to leave this relationship but she doesn’t know where to turn . She’s concerned if she leaves he will do something stupid , and her daughter will hate her ( he has always been a good father - the drugs )
she doesn’t have any family who could help house her and she doesn’t have any savings , where can she go from here ? I know the council are reluctant to house if you have a mortgage . I’ve told her to speak to Citizens advice and see what her options are .
does anyone please have any advise ? She’s living a miserable existence because she’s being so manipulated and I just want to help

He needs to leave, not her - she seats there with the kids.
The mortgage will stay jointly in their names.She isn't homeless, but she really does need to get him to leave.

Has she contacted womens aid? They really helped my sibling. That might be a good start.

My sibling was able to apply for social housing still on waiting list but she had somewhere else to stay short term so I can't see why your friend couldn't get help, my sibling won't get any help with her share mortgage payments though, womens aid should be able to advise on that or signpost to someone who can because if her name is on the mortgage then he might need to buy her out or sell and give her her share of equity or whatever.

Def give womens aid a call.

no because they will have made their self homeless

I got a council house while I still owned the home I lived in when I was married as exh refused to move out & the courts were spineless in forcing him to move out. I was able to sight domestic violence & abuse. There is nothing wrong with you getting your name on the ordinary waiting list & then getting support from Women's Aid or Shelter in stating your case to get priority as homeless. Also look for housing associations that don't let through the council.

She needs to contact the L/A and ask for their advice. The first duty of the L/A is to prevent homelessness, and that often means giving advice or signposting to advice. She might be encouraged to get him out of the house so that the property is available for her and their daughter, I can't imagine that he would be able to care for the child, so that is one less problem. I used to work as a homeless officer and this sort of situation happens quite often, but she does need to contact them and ask for advice so that if the worst does come to the worst, she hasn't made herself intentionally homeless. Women's Aid , a law centre, CAB will also advise, but I would say L/A first or as well.

Thanks so much for your reply , that’s really useful . What is l/a?

She wouldn’t do that as it was his childhood family house , so she would rather leave . It’s so difficult because they work together

Sorry, it means local authority. She really needs to speak to them and not sign away any rights she has to the property unless the homeless officer agrees it is the only way forward.

Hi, what did your sister say to women's aid to get help? I really need to leave, but I don't know who to speak to for help.

My sibling got a council house whilst still living with the ex in a jointly owned house.

Usually they do a rent deposit scheme to assist with going into rented provided the relationship has ended.

You can claim benefits and then over time carry on so long as they can evidence they are trying to divorce/get any equity they are due. I mean not much progress may have been made it's more about having engaged with a solicitor.

Thanks for your reply . There hasn’t been any physical abuse , would womens aid still be able to help ?

Really , was this recently ? I think if she knows she will be able to get help she will finally get out of this situation . I think it’s because she literally doesn’t know where to turn and she feels trapped

Financial abuse is abuse as is emotional abuse.

Honestly she could be waiting years for a council house once on a list….council housing so to speak is it a bad state and a lot of people end up in private renting with housing benefit / universal credit.

Can she start saving? Enough to get a bond together.. have an exit plan?

how soon she would get one would also depend on what band she was placed in by the council, hundreds of people bid on houses each day however those at the top of the bands get them rather than the lower down bands