Gut feeling someone is cheating - anyone had this and been wrong ?

[Florida121]

I have a gut feeling my bf is lying to me and there is someone else. I feel very suspicious but wonder if other people have felt like this and turned out to be wrong ? Lots of people say you should trust your gut so I’m not sure

nope

Nope.

Aside from your gut feeling - are there any other signs?

Does he have form?

Do you have anxiety due to being cheated on previously?

There's no way of knowing but I think the feeling means something is wrong in the relationship. Your partner must be pulling away in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable which could be due to a number of things. Can you articulate why you feel this way?

Nope. Friends were the same. I think you ‘just’ know.

A gut feeling may be a signal to pay attention - certainly when my ex cheated, I had dreams of them doing as much, wich must have been my subconcious' way of waving a red flag at me - but I don't think such feelings should be trusted on their own. Emotions can as easily be false flags - just think of the number of people who fancy people who are obviously toxic!

So maybe pay attention, but then bring the rational part of your brain to bear and look at the evidence. That way you can work out if something actually isn't adding up and, if not, it's your own behaviour patterns that might need working on instead.

There’s a book which I read recently that shows why gut instinct shouldn’t be trusted. More times than not it’s wrong however we only remember the times it was right. Lots of data and science backed it up.

however, I personally always think it’s means something.

I had suspicions, i was told i always made things difficult because i was suspicious....found out 3 years later he'd cheated with the person i was suspicious off 🙄🙄

Yea I did and was right about it both times. Felt like an idiot doubting myself although nowadays I go with my gut a lot of the time and use common sense

Simply put, I'm betting you're not wrong.
Sorry OP.
Hopefully you are wrong. 💐

I was right both times, although the evidence took quite a while to be uncovered!

Why do you feel like this OP? Do you live together..is he acting suspiciously?

I was right once. A few other times I don’t think I was right.

I had an ex who just knew I was cheating apparently. I wasn’t

My gut feeling wasn't about sexual infidelity, but I felt that something was off around money and I was damn right. When we are feeling funny about someone it's usually because they are acting out of integrity in some way (words and actions not matching - this can be subtle) or doing things that are resulting in us behaving out of integrity (eg feeling that we have to shut up about an issue or do something we don't want to in order to preserve the relationship).

So sit down with a pen and paper or on your phone/computer and try to write down exactly why you've got a funny gut feeling.

• Does he seem to 'disappear' for unusual periods of time and then never mention what he's been doing or who he's been with?


• Is he very guarded around his phone?


• Does he have 'mentionitis' about someone?


• Does he question you a lot about who you're with/what you're doing/seem jealous himself?


• What exactly makes you think he's lying? Is it too much detail, not enough detail, being evasive or attacking you if you ask him too many questions?


• Does he seem to have become less affectionate, or his affection swings between OTT and nothing much?

I strongly believe in following your instinct. I got told for many years that I was wrong, and just suspicious, only to find out I was not only right many years later but the lady in question was pregnant (they're now in a relationship). I feel like I wasted so many years by just not following my instinct.

Hey OP.
Can you provide more context ?
There can be other reasons within a relationship shop to have these type of feelings.

I think pps make very good points. I've been treated badly in previous relationships and the man I'm with now treats me so well. In reality, he's probably just 'normal' but it feels huge to me.

I'm aware that anyone could cheat given the right circumstances so I'm 'mindful' of that and would be aware of any changes in behaviour. I sometimes 'worry' that he is - I don't think he would in reality but I could see how there might be messages that went a bit too far or a flirtation that crossed my boundaries. IYSWIM. I can see how that might happen... but my gut instinct is that he isn't and he wouldn't.

What I'm trying to say is that I think we all know whether our 'gut instinct' is a true gut instinct or whether it is our subconscious working overdrive to protect us based upon past experience but with little 'evidence'.

I think that, if you listen to it carefully, you will know the same.

In my first relationship I had the feeling he was cheating and was right. In this one sometimes I feel he could be, because we've been together for 7 years and don't live together but will go for weeks at a time without seeing eachother because he's busy. But really I think it's just where I'm emotionally damaged from my first relationship and feel very insecure. But everytime I've had true gut feelings they turned out to be absolutely right

Yes, suspected DP was up to something, had his head turned by someone, turned out he was knee deep in an EA.

My gut was telling me something was off.

Never been wrong

I had this once before and I was right. There were little things that were off and finally did some digging and found out he was on dozens of dating sites and was having long calls with a woman he'd met online (his phone was on my plan).

What’s EA

Emotional Affair