Mum is moving in with horrid sister

[Xeroxfile]

Not posted before so please excuse any mis-steps. I'm just seeking some advice please, on how to improve this upcoming situation. Or maybe to just turn my back on it altogether?
My sister and I have never been close, there's an age gap of 5 years and a personality gap a mile wide. In the last few years the situation has become quite nasty, as she fell out with me when I got divorced. If there is a family event, I am not invited, and neither are my kids if they are with me that day (I co-parent with my ex). Dropping off birthday and Christmas presents is fraught. She does all she can to avoid me. I don't get to see my niece and nephew either as I am not welcome at hers. Which is all very hurtful, and I've tried to resolve it, but it's ultimately her choice. Our Mum (widowed) is sad about it, but has mostly kept out of it.
Mum told me today out of the blue that my sister and her family are selling their house, and she has accepted their offer to live with them if they can find a suitable new house with an "annexe" for her. This was a total surprise to me, as she is always saying how much she likes where she lives, a rural park home site a few miles from us. She is fit and healthy, drives, walks everywhere. They told her that after this upcoming move, they probably won't be moving again for a very long time, so it's now or never. She is worried about what happens when she can no longer drive, walk long distances etc, even though hopefully that is a good few years away, and she could move somewhere more suitable anyway, if the time comes. I am not in position to make the same offer, as they have a huge house.
I feel really hurt. I feel abandoned as they have treated me so badly and she is rewarding them almost. Once she moves in with them I won't be able to see her, or take the kids to see her, or anything basically, they are annexing her in all senses. They are taking my mum away, childish as it sounds. I can't stop her, nor would I want to, as she has to do what's best for her, but I am really struggling. I feel like turning my back on the lot of them.

I can't see my sister wiping bums! Not her at all. The issue of how physical care will be paid for when mums potentially given away all her assets hasn't been thought about. Not much has!
The best thing I can do is to get info from Age UK for her I think. If I try to talk her out of it, it will just result in them all ganging up on me.
I think they've put pressure on with the "now or never" offer. She's been a bit down, as a much older friend has recently died so perhaps it seems the best option?
I can't understand why she's running towards it right now though, when she's fit and potentially has years of active life left. It seems rash to say the least!
And it does hurt that the effect on me, and the estrangement meaning visits will be uncomfortable at best and impossible at worst, hasn't registered with her at all.
Thanks for the advice and sympathy.

I agree, they will want to use her money to upgrade to a nicer house, (she will keep hold of your half for the moment but will necessarily eat into it.
Will she have her name on the deeds? will she have to pay her own utilities in this annex? )
When the time comes your sister will get POA & then pay for a carer or residential care, with your Mums money. So you are shafted.
But this is not all about money. Sister is also double annexing your mother, annexing Mum from her other daughter & GC & friends.
& this annex, is a wooden chalet at the bottom of the garden ? will Mum be able to access their part? use the kitchen? sit on the sofa? be part of the family ?
Or will she just be there to babysit & house sit when they go on holiday, then be expected to occupy herself alone in the annexe?
This is really manipulative & clearly unkind & not absolutely not necessary.
Your Mother should not allow this.

I hope you manage to get your mum to see this is a bad idea, very tricky situation for you

Op, has there been any further discussion with your Mum?

Mum announced that the plan's all off now. I didn't have any further discussions with her in the end. Apparently it was only ever a case of "IF they find something suitable to accommodate mum" and they decided that moving quickly was the priority, rather than finding a suitable place. Sister has found a new house that doesn't have room for mum and is buying that one! All a bit odd!

I'm very pleased to read your update. This is by far the best solution. Hopefully one day you and your sister will be able to be reconciled.

Brilliant!!

That's good news, best outcome for your mum.

Good news OP

🚩🚩🚩🚩

That's good news - it was a terrible idea!