What do I do now?!

[Girlmummy2021]

So I have just found out that many years ago, my husband tried it on with his cousins wife. Apparently, he tried to kiss and touch her up one night and she pushed him away but has never said anything to her husband/his cousin about it.

Now, the problem is, is that all that seems like she’s a noble person and she did the right thing, but the bit I am seething about is that for years they have massively flirted with each other which made me feel completely uncomfortable, her demeanour towards me has always been to belittle me and overall putting the pieces together now with what I know, was like she was enjoying this the whole time. I have also been told that he has told her on a few occasions he doesn’t love me.

This happened about 10 years ago and we now have a 6 month old daughter.
It was her ex-best friend who told me this as we have become good friends and I’m so confused as to how I approach this? (I’m actually slightly annoyed that she’s chosen to tell me this now as although I have always suspected something has happened there’s always that feeling of ‘ignorance is bliss’ right?)

I have asked my husband a few times if anything has happened and he’s either gone mad at me or laughed at me for being so jealous. I feel like I have had the P* taken out of me for the last 10 years but at the same time nothing more than a kiss happened so how should I feel about it?
I think tbh the main thing I am angry and very upset about is not the act itself but the feeling of being laughed at behind my back.

What would you ladies do in my situation?

I would be upset over this. Like you say it’s more the feeling that people are laughing behind your back. Tricky as you’ve just had a daughter together and life ar this stage is always more challenging. Sounds like she isn’t into your husband but is enjoying the merry dance he makes around her suggesting low self esteem
on her part. She is not a noble person if she is flirting outrageously with him! If he’s not willing to discuss in a civilised manner with you then this is a massive red flag for me.

That would make me feel very uncomfortable as well, it's a difficult situation you're in as well what with having a baby with him now too

There are two problems here as I see it, the first is that you aren’t sure if you trust him or not, and given his behavior I can see why. The second problem is the way he’s reacted when you’ve talk to him about it. That doesn’t demonstrate respect, it demonstrates the opposite.

so he disrespects you by flirting with this woman, then he disrespects you bye blaming you or laughing at you when you talk to him about it.

The root of these two problems is that he clearly doesn’t have any respect for you.

he’s either gone mad at me or laughed at me for being so jealous

I'd leave him, just on the strength of this alone. He doesn't care about how you feel. If he did, he'd have taken you seriously, and reassured you.

He's not even laughing behind your back though, hes laughing, at your concern, to your face.

He doesn't sound like a very nice person op. The cousins gf isn't the problem. The problem is that you're partner is a fake, gaslighting prick.

As op said, a decent person would have unsterstood your concerns, considered your feelings and reassured you. He isn't a decent person.

And people like that don't belong in our lives in any capacity. Let alone as partners.

If you're feeling strong enough after the birth now, I'd think about getting out before the baby is too old to notice the difference. Lifes Life's short to waste with wankers who don't respect you. Respect yourself instead. Fuck them.

Her ex best friend isnt a friend.. why would she even tell you this, no doubt now she is sitting back waiting for the fireworks, is it a vendetta between the ex best friends? Maybe she embellished it?