I don’t know how to go on

[Rockbottomh]

I can’t cope. I’ve reached out to friends, GP, mental Heath support, etc but I’m not ok. I can’t get any better. Life feels horrendously bleak.

My relationship ended two weeks ago and I’m two weeks now from having a baby. My entire world has collapsed. Ex doesn’t appear to want any involvement full stop, not heard a thing. Feel like it’s all my fault.

Family are disappointed in me/the break up. I don’t know how I will cope alone, I literally have no friends or family around to help. I will be going home with the baby to a place I don’t recognise anymore.

I don’t think I can get my head around my life one bit. I don’t want to be alive. I genuinely feel like like is going to be black forever. I am desperately alone.

Don't give up. It's going to be tough but life does get better again. I promise. I know because my partner walked out on me when our baby was only 10 days old.

I genuinely thought I would never feel happiness again. It takes time but you will get through it and you will come out the other side even stronger. Believe it.

@LucyLocketLostThePlot i can only see darkness. I hate him for leaving us but also feel totally heartbroken. I feel like I am living a nightmare. I’m so scared.

Can you get through today? If yes, just ask yourself the same tomorrow. Just break this down. Don't think of weeks, months, years ahead. Today is enough.

I am so sorry you are going through this. It's a huge amount to deal with. Have you told GP the extent of your feelings? Regardless you should go back. You need support.

And I can't stress this enough. This IS NOT your fault. Shame on your ex and shame on your family.

@SummerHouse i had my part to play in why he disappeared, I wasn’t easy to be around, lashed out, found pregnancy hard. My family certainly think I’m to blame as much as if not more than him. I am terrified of the future it feels so dark

Your baby deserves a happy, strong and confident mum. So he's left, so what, you can do this alone, millions of us do just that. You get to bring your baby up your way. It's scary at first but it's not the end of the world bringing a baby up on your own! In fact I actually feel privileged that I get to do it alone, I reap all the rewards, I get all the love and cuddles, i can br proud that i do this single handedly and I don't have to battle between two different parenting styles! Your family will come around, I'm sure they are not disappointed in you, and brand new babies have a habit of bringing people together. But this man is now obsolete, just concentrate on yourself and your baby.

When your baby arrives, you'll understand what to do.You won't feel empty.

I've been a single mum for 10years now. My ds is a reflection of my love and care and he is a joy. As a single mum I can give him all the attention I want to, I can make all the decisions, choose what I want him to see.

It can be a bit daunting to start with but it's also a luxury to be able to focus all your love and attention and build the life you choose..

You need a handhold and someone to get you there but trust me, it will be fine. A friend? A sister or cousin? Your midwife.? Or pm me if you need to. Good luck.

I know it feels like that now but please know that it won't always feel like that. I agree with the previous advice on taking one day at a time. Just get through today. And, imperceptibly at first, each day will get a little better.

Also, it's not your fault. That's bullshit that they say to make themselves feel better.

How are you doing today OP? I hope you are ok x

Make sure to tell the hospital how you feel and make sure you get support - you deserve to be supported

My daughter's partner abandoned dd in the third trimester to hide that his ex wife was about to have his baby as well. Dd was broken, I gave her every support I could and was there when dgs was born.
Dgs is now 3, dd is happily a single mother and dgs is happy and loved. The ex has never seen dgs (his choice) he pays maintenance ordered through CMS. He didn't stay with ex wife and she is now bringing up two of his children whilst he's with his next mother of his next child no doubt.
You will be able to do this, these early days are the worst it will get better. If your family can't or won't give you the support you need reach out to your friends and speak to your midwife.
Keep going, one foot in front of the other until you don't have to think about putting one foot in front of the other.

I agree with PP, speak to gp, midwife again and also your close family. Despite what they think they should be there for you.
Take it a day at a time, if that's not possible take an hour at a time. The baby will give you something to focus on, they'll keep you busy and eventually you'll wake up one morning and the pain will have subsided. Don't think of the future, just this moment here, get through this moment, don't think of the next. Be kind to yourself, rest as much as you can and try to eat and drink plenty.

I agree, and would just add, make sure you get all the financial support you’re entitled to from your ex, through CMS, not just an informal agreement (which he’ll break).

Best of luck, OP. You’ll make it, as do many others do.

As a mum of 4 trust me when I say you can absolutely do this alone. Focus on your baby and go to mother and baby groups to meet other mums . The solidarity there will offer you a lot of support and you will make new friends.

when your baby is older you can go out and meet another man. You don’t need him xx