Did the tables ever turn when your rubbish parents eventually needed you?

[Greto]

NC as I am being awful admitting this and I know it.

My parents have many good points but it’s taken me until my 30s to accept that they are also pretty shit. Privileged, lots of money, generally nice to be around but insanely selfish with no ability to provide emotional support. They have kicked me and my siblings when down and they have always been my source of emotional pain…they’ve said awful things and once when I was suicidal - a one off occasion where I was truly at rock bottom - they said they couldn’t come over as my dad wanted to look at a new Range Rover 😀that’s just one example of generally shit support I’ve had to the point where i don’t seek it from them anymore.

Its mean but I would love it once if they needed me and were vulnerable to how I might decide to respond in their time of need. I would probably always be there but it would be nice to feel I could at least have the option to treat them as badly as they did to me.

Did you have that chance? Were you there for them?

Yeah and I went NC with my mum and remained so even when she was alone and dying from cancer. No regrets.

Part of the final push for me going no contact with my mother is that I never want to find myself into that position of power with someone who has been so cruel to me, as I don't want to risk how I might react if put under enough pressure and stress.

No.
You accept what they are like and move on with psychological help (if you need it)
Sadly for some people you’ll never be good enough so time to severe the ties and free yourself.
You can’t change the past and don’t let it affect future.
Stand on your own feet and limit contact.
Reaching indifference is the goal.

Sounds like they have enough money to buy help if they ever need it. Let them crack on.

Yes my mum now has dementia, and needed round the clock care. I signed the papers put her in a lovely home, gave her a hug and said goodbye .

Cleared her flat and sorted everything out.

This is your revenge doing the right thing. And walking away and knowing you have grown to be a kind and honest person with no bitterness.

I never had a great relationship with DM
Now she is 83 with Alzheimer’s I still care for her but within my limits
I make sure she has what she needs but don’t have guilt when I can’t spend as much time with her as she would like
Dementia has actually made her a nicer person! She is much more chilled and more appreciative of what the whole family do for her
For years there was a very acrimonious relationship with her and my exDP (we are still friends) he can’t believe how much she’s mellowed and does DIY for her when needed
DM never liked pets - now she adores my cats and DB dogs and loves to sit with them sweet talking!!