what are the chances this could happen

[YOMO]

I have just had a blazing row with my partner. He has told me i am fat, ugly and he hates me and the only reason he is with me is because of our dd (who is 10 months). I have said that i will leave and we will sell the house, he has said if i try to take our daughter he will make sure that i will lose our daughter and that i will never see her. He is using my baby blues as a reason saying i am a nutter.

Would a court really take her away from me if we split up. I cant bare the thought of losing her, i would die first.

a lot of fathers, especially controlling ones say that they will take the child if the mother leaves them.

It is highly unlikely.

He is doing it to upset you and control you.

He is playing on your weaknesses and trying to make sure you don't leave.

Get down to CAB and find out what your rights are and what you would be entitled to. Don't take his word for it. I think they provide email service if you can't go.

Emotional blackmail. Works every time - pigs like him know what to say to really hurt and scare us.... don't give it another moment's thought; he is being a dick and knows nothing.

Get yourself to a lawyer (you get 30 mins free) and ask them - they will say no (in a round about way!)

He is lying - the simple fact is that courts USUALLY give the kids to the mother as main carer. There are very few reasons that a mum will not get custody - PND is NOT one of them. PND and baby blues is an illness. Courts know this - they are not stupid.

Second what's been said. He is feeding on your illnes and insecurity. Think of it this way, could he really cope alone with a baby, he would have to give up his job if he has one or arrange full time care, it is just not practical. He is trying to scare you. Be strong, see a solicitor with a free 30 min appointment and the next time he comes at you with that then you can actually tell him your legal position. Best of luck to you.

Thank you all for the kind advise. I have booked appointment at local CAB for next week. I hope that we dont split up but if we do then i will at least know my rights. thank you all again.

USe information as power.

Don't believe what he says. Find out for yourself. Then you will know for definate he is speaking shite. SHow him that you won't just take his word for it and crumble.

What a hideous nasty piece of work... As others have said, get yourself armed with information and don't let yourself be abused by this pathetic excuse for a man. Is it any wonder you're depressed with someone calling you fat and ugly ?!

Arse

yomo - why would you want to be with someone who says these awful things? the best thing you could do is call his bluff and leave him! this is the way he will treat you for the rest of your time together. do you really want that? you deserve better. hugs and sorry if appear blunt, mean it is kindest way possible!

Yomo, really sorry to hear this. Is he often like this? If you've got PND, it really isn't helpful of him to throw these insults at you. If he is habitually putting you down, I would agree with the others - I would want to think very hard about whether I want to share the rest of my life with a man who tries to undermine my self-confidence and control me in such brutal ways. And I would also not want my children to grow up with this as a role model for their future relationships. So you have a responsibility to yourself AND your children not to tolerate this.

My goodness, I would NEVER say such things to my DP. It's cruel, cowardly and controlling.

He isn't normally like this which is why it has shocked me so much. I have armed myself with the information from the CAB, i now know my rights and know he was talking sXXt. We have spoken about it and he said that he didn't mean it and just wanted to hurt me because i said something that hurt him, (although he can not remember what it was). He also said that he know he was a bast@@d and that he feels like total crap. Still sleeping in seperate rooms as i dont know if i can forgive him yet.