DD is being called a slag

[Merrifields]

DH and I hired our local village hall to give my eldest DD a 16th B’day party. She was allowed to invite 100 guests. Family weren’t included it was friends from school. We laid on music, food and non alcoholic punch. My younger daughter, 12 was at the party. She loves pop music and dancing. She was hanging around with a neighbours daughter and some older girls from school who are 14/15. DH and I were busy all evening supervising the food and drink. We found out to our horror through our eldest daughter on the Monday after school
that our youngest spent the evening dancing, kissing including french kissing and cuddling with a boy aged 15 (now 16) She definitely told him she was 12 but he thought she was joking and believed she was 14/15. He said see you at School on Monday. He said he really liked her. There was no alcohol involved. My younger daughter is tall and very pretty. She was wearing a mini skirt, fluffy jumper and flat shoes with NO make up. On the Sunday the boy discovered her true age. He has totally blanked my daughter. Pretty sure he is being called a pervert at school by his mates. My daughter is being called a slag by everyone- including my eldest DD who says her little sis ruined her party by acting like a prostitute. My younger daughter is distraught that this boy who kissed her and said he liked her is now completely ignoring her whilst his friends keep staring at her. My younger daughter has stopped working at school and has been chasing one of her friends brothers around the village- he is 14 (nearly 15) asking him to kiss her and be her bf. I have no idea what to do. I’m angry that this happened to my daughter she is 12 and a quarter. She had no interest in boys before this. I asked her what happened- she admitted the kissing and cuddling and said he smelt nice. I know it didn’t go further.

I have never seen this behaviour of 6yo. I have a 6yo myself and have been to many, many parties. I don't know what type of 6yo you have encountered but this doesn't sound like normal behavior to me.

The situation is so fucking horrible. He is trying to play it down in the hopes my young daughter calms down and moves on from what happened. Thank God she had the sense not to leave the venue that night.

He hasn't privately said to you how concerned he is about her being bullied and hasn't sat your older daughter down and said he feels incredibly let down by her contributing to her 12 year old sister being bullied?

Does he usually think misogyny isn't that big a deal?

You need to be a united front on this for everyone involved.

I don't think that's a particularly bad way of handling it. As hard as it is for your dd at the moment, these things tend to blow over in a few days - next week the gossip in the playground will have moved on to something else. She's at that age when hormones are starting to kick in so that's probably made her particularly sensitive to the perceived rejection, and fuelled her kneejerk reaction to pursue the other lad.

Whilst she finds it harsh that the lad who kissed her is now totally ignoring her, it's almost certainly the best thing he could do. Even speaking to her just to apologise could get misconstrued if anyone else sees them talking. And whilst he should have known better, don't forget that he was only 15 himself at the time (and teenage boys are often far less mature than girls), so legally a child himself. Absolutely no point in taking it to the police, it's not in anyone's interests to take legal action, and the most I could see them doing is having an informal chat with the lad to warn him off (which it appears he's already had from his peers).