My oh has the amazing ability of being cold. He can turn it in after an argument and can ignore me for a very long time after an argument. We are currently day 10 after an argument and he hasn’t spoken to me at all. Has come home from work and just left to go to the pub with friends. We have two kids 5 and 6.
we sleep in separate bedrooms for about 3 years now - sex life has completely dwindled. We don’t even live like room mates anymore : for example I cooked kids dinner the other night and put the dishwasher on. There was a mixing bowl and pot left in the sink to go into the next round of dishwasher. He got up in the morning made his breakfast - didn’t want to empty the dishwasher so washed his own plate and left the stuff in the sink even though it was from his own kids dinner ???
stuff like this happens all the time. Yesterday my aunty died . I thought he may get over the stonewalling (reason for argument not even that bad to warrant 10 days silence). I also found out yesterday another aunt has leukaemia (my uncle only died of leukemia) in jan.he wrote back “sorry to hear that” like a stranger. Then came in the house, only spoke to the kids and completely ignored me. I went to bed. Kids dressed themselves for bed and he brushed their teeth. Left the kitchen a mess after their dinner (would have taken about 10/15 mins to clean ) and would have been thoughtful. It wasn’t my mess it was literally the plates the kids were eating from when he walked in the house.
again he’s got up this morning and left the house at 8. Absolutely no help to get the kids off to the childminder this morning . He’s become so selfish and has obviously completely checked out of a relationship with me. It’s hard because my older son has ASD and behaviour problems and so I have anxiety around this as he struggles a lot.
money wise I have no savings at all. We do have probably close to 180kin our house so I could look at a small 2 bed with my portion of that. That would be fine with me - it is what it is and I can make it into a home.
I also only started my pension this year age 37 after being off work with kids - he has a large pension. He has also inherited a portion of a house around 100k. he has savings of 16k in his account only.
I work part time around kids, sons ASD and he has diabetes T1 and behaviour problems. So haven’t built up same pension etc.
we are together 11 years now but not actually married (engaged 7 years) but he never wanted to actually get married.
mentally I can’t keep
living with somebody so cold to me. But im obviously scared moving kids from a nice big house to a small not so desirable area. Im only 37 and refuse to live with someone who treats me like this and thinks it’s ok to basically ignore my existence for weeks after a row. He is 39. Thanks for reading I know it’s long.