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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dating as a single Mom

2 replies

MoederBok123 · 04/07/2022 20:30

So, I'm a fully lone parent. In my early 20s my engagement ended with him cheating. Then in my late 20s my Marriage ended with him cheating (Father of my child). Been single for years now and whilst I have had the odd companion, I do not want my child meeting any men I date because I don't trust anyone to stick around so wont risk him getting attached. Also, I kind of love the independence of being single. I love not having to consider anyone else's taste, routine, likes and dislikes (beyond my child that is) in decision making scenarios. I love thinking about my ambitions and not having to consider what a partner might want, or if that will interfere with my dreams.
Many female friends and family keep talking to me about "one day you'll find someone" or "I think I've got the perfect guy for you". Is it weird that I really don't want a committed relationship? Anyone else feel that way?

A while back, I had an awesome companion who was a single father and also not wanting his kids to meet anyone he was involved with. We had it down to a fine art. Mutual adoration with no strings attached beyond being exclusively intimate with one another for safety sake. We never asked questions about each others comings and goings except for the generic "how was your day/week/weekend". We only told each other what we wanted to and because we had to consider our children's schedules, we rarely had sleepovers which meant never getting annoyed with each other's bad habits. It was bliss! Like dating your best friend but never getting serious. We parted due to career trajectories sending us on different paths geographically, but we are still friends. I want another one of those but everyone says its impossible. That it was a once in a lifetime situation. Is it really that rare?

OP posts:
GentlemanJay · 04/07/2022 21:56

I had a very similar relationship. Two years ago it ended. Like looking for a needle in a haystack.

MoederBok123 · 05/07/2022 10:50

Seems it! I've also found that people aren't all that acceptant of the "life choice", so I don't tent to talk to my circle about it. Also, in my experience, since I parted ways with mine, new men have said they can cope with the arrangement but inevitably get too attached rather quickly and I land up having to call it off. Sucks!

OP posts:
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