What’s likely the outcome if baby dad gets a court order

[Girlmommy]

So if you read my previous threads you will know that my ex the baby dad was abusive pushed me when pregnant shouting smashing things up ect , ss got involved my lo was born she was on child protection plan they did risk assessment on dad he was allowed contact at this point we told them we was separated when we wasn’t then it got dropped to child in need and then they close the case couple weeks ago I came out in the open to them about the truth we had still been together on and off half way through ( we’re not together now ) he has been pouring drinks on me shouting at me smashing my propert up in front of my lo, also how he takes drugs I told the social services all of this , I said I don’t want him seeing her anymore but he was blackmailing me to see her saying he would get her took of me if I didn’t let him. Anyway ss didn’t really seem concerned at all which shocked me abs said that he should still be allowed to see his lo and that if I stop him seeing her and it goes court he will get contact unsupervised anyway and that they normally ask ss to write a letter and it sounds to me like they’re gonna say dad is safe in the letter. I’m just baffled as when it first opened up before she was born the ss was against him seeing her all together but me being stupid let it still go on but now I don’t get why they think he’s safe to have her . He came to collect her the other day and I thought he was on drugs so I called the police and they said he’s on birth certificate nothing u can do he’s got same rights as me. Jusy dont know what to do anymore he wants me to go to mediation and sign a legal document saying he has her on set days but I don’t want to I don’t want him seeing her at all but I’m scared if he takes it to court he’s gonna be allowed contact which I don’t want I don’t want her growing up around his behaviours

Are you sure that's what social services said? They their happy for him to see the child unsupervised?

I don't want her growing up around his behaviours

The problem is, you chose him as her father. So unless you can now show that he is a danger or abusive to her then you are unlikely to have much choice in the matter. And unfortunately you've made yourself a less credible witness by getting together with him a second time (but we'll done for getting clear again).

For now, things you can do are keep a diary. Make a note of every instance where is does anything that makes you feel he is unsafe with her or neglects her (returned to you unfed or in a dirty nappy or anything like that). It's also worth noting that you don't have to make her available for contact until ordered to by a court. As he's abusive to you then you absolutely dont have to attend mediation with him, you can just make him take you to court for access.

Do you have enough evidence to get a restraining order against him?

I dropped a lot of charges on him in the past so I don’t know if I can get restraining order or not there were whitenesses off a few of the incidents but they were all dropped which I wish I didn’t do now .

Yes she actually said to me when I said I’d rather him not see her that “well we as social services would encourage contact with the dad “ even after everything I disclosed to her about whay was going on I even said to go ask all the neighbours and they would of told her the same that they can hear him shouting and banging all the time

If he does take me to court what’s likely to happen will he be allowed unsupervised contact atm he has her few hours in the week after work and then a Saturday overnight up supervised which I don’t really want

Record everything on your phone. If he’s not saying anything wrong you can delete it.
Any chance you can photograph drugs or drug use or drug buying ?
Record everything in writing factually. Don’t exaggerate, but do put in how the interaction made you feel.
As pp says, record if your baby is returned unfed, or in a soiled nappy.
You need all the evidence you can muster.
It’s possible he’s claiming access just to annoy you or control you. The reality of caring for a baby might be too much for him to try to continue.

The other thing you can do is put your concerns to social services again but this time I writing (email them). That might cause a change of heart.

I thought about this past few times her nappy been prettt heavy when she’s got back and i thought about making a log but I feel like there not gonna do anything without proof about thay

I’m thinking of asking for a change of social worker not sure if this will make a difference Thougj

Also I shown the ss videos of him threatening me. But she said the videos were from months ago so she wasn’t bothered

Ask for a new social worker, they have to consider you request. If you are worried for baby’s safety say no you can’t see baby. He may or may not go to court.

Nobody can tell you what a court will decide. If he's got PR he probably will get contact but that will all have to be evaluated by professionals as to what level of contact he get. You also can't get a restraining order out on historical facts. If he does something else then yes you can. It's probably why she wasn't interested in the video

When he came to collect the child the other day when you suspected he was on drugs, did you allow him to take child?

I suspect the issue is that whilst he may be abusive to you he has not been abusive to his child. He currently sees her one evening and overnight on Saturday you say so the court would see no reason for this not to continue if he isn't causing harm at present.

Yeah it’s not the issue that he’s directing causing harm to her more the fact like how he is as a person like he lives with his mom and sister I’ve whitenesses him push his mom and sister about in the past he’s the same with them as he was to me I don’t really want her growing up around thay but I don’t have any sort of evidence of jt

It's a very difficult situation - well done for leaving him for good.

You are currently allowing him unsupervised contact without a court order. If you refuse him access then he can take you to court for access, but he has no chance of "taking her off" you, the most he would be awarded would be 50/50.

So if you are concerned about her welfare when she is with him, then in your shoes I would refuse contact and let him take you to court. He possibly won't bother but even if he does you will be no worse off than you are now and you will have a chance to explain your concerns and ask for supervised contact (which may or may not be granted.)