Need a woman’s perspective

[Chimenyhead]

Oh wise ladies of mumsnet….I need some advice please.
I am a man and I have being seeing a woman for nearly a year now. We get on great, no major issues but I think we clash on what the other wants in the relationship and I don’t think I am in love with her, she on the other hand seems besotted.

I'm gearing up for the chat, but she is very sensitive so I’m wary of saying the wrong thing, coming across as a douche….how do I end it with minimum upset ?
I understand that there is going to be hurt, just looking for some tips to do it in the least hurtful way please ?

There are poster’s on here who believe that MN hates men, men are always wrong and this place is filled with mean women bullying men….
🙄🙄🙄

Just ignore the comment.

Cold turkey no contact is usually better while both parties get over it, then time to be friends later if she wants.

It depends on the person- I've always found it much more distressing when someone just blocks you and ignores. It's like they just don't like you at all and have no regard. Remaining friends can make it's easier to swallow, and she can start seeing other people in the meantime.

That's why the best option is to let her decide: and if she's not getting the message, relay it again and possibly start distancing then. Cold turkey is pretty brutal (unless it's from the dumped party) in my experience!

He's a bloke therefore MUST be in the wrong. It's the law of MN.

I've always found it much more distressing when someone just blocks you and ignores

Another option would be to say 'I really like you, but it's easier if we have no contact for a while whilst we both get over this.'

Honestly, do people think that leaving someone behind didn't exist before we could 'block' each other? There are respectful ways of doing it that don't involve just cutting the person out with no explanation.

For those that have mentioned blocking, I would not do that on text but I would take off my social media, as I have had female friends in the past who have stayed on exes social media and looked them up a lot, making it harder to move on.

I’d probably suggest you both go for a walk! There’s some good advice- tell her she’s lovely and you’ve had a great time getting to know her but although you care a lot about her you’re not in love with her and not fair to waste her time (or yours)