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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

DC's first heartbreak

33 replies

FluffingMarvellous · 03/07/2022 18:49

OK so not my own relationship...my child's. And they are only teeny (upper primary) but had had the same relationship for almost a year which is forever at that age!

Took it really seriously, always looking out for each other, making cute cards, lovely gifts at valentines, trips together with other friends. Just generally adorable together.

But got dumped this week :( not sure if for someone else or just one of those things.

My heart hurts for DC2! They literally cried on me for an hour and said no more relationships ever as it hurts too much. I hadn't been prepared for how much it can hurt feeling that sort of pain through them...

OP posts:
QuillBill · 03/07/2022 20:59

And it isn't appropriate to ban all talk of relationships.

You would shut it down though at this age. You would say 'Liam is your friend, he's not your boyfriend. You are ten and ten year olds don't have boyfriends and relationships they have friends and friendships.'

I don't think @FiveHargreeves said 'ban all talk of relationships' Telling dc you don't want to hear boyfriend girlfriend talk is completely normal in KS2 classrooms. Otherwise you are encouraging it which is just weird.

Original poster
FluffingMarvellous · 03/07/2022 21:03

Cas112 · 03/07/2022 20:02

This is really weird OP, it's primary school age. Really not that serious and it sounds like your attitude towards it is enabling an even more dramatic reaction to the break up. They are kids they will forget about it in a matter of days🙄

I had no reaction towards it. I was very neutral; my DC (who, as it happens is a boy...interesting that people have assumed a DD)...was very upset and crying so I was hardly going to leave him and tell him to man up, it's inappropriate. I did of course tell him there will be plenty of others etc but he was nonetheless very upset. My own personal sadness i am only sharing her. That's the benefit of an anonymous forum, right? I certainly did not mention or show it to my child.

OP posts:
FiveHargreeves · 03/07/2022 21:08

What should I say then @girlmom21?

Bearing in mind I have 20 seconds for the interaction. Assembly is looming.

A child comes in and says 'Isla is my girlfriend now'

what's a good response?

girlmom21 · 04/07/2022 07:45

FiveHargreeves · 03/07/2022 21:08

What should I say then @girlmom21?

Bearing in mind I have 20 seconds for the interaction. Assembly is looming.

A child comes in and says 'Isla is my girlfriend now'

what's a good response?

Oh great - it's lovely to have a mix of friends that are both boys and girls.

FiveHargreeves · 04/07/2022 08:14

Oh great - it's lovely to have a mix of friends that are both boys and girls.

Fantastic. We are on the same page then. That's what I am saying.

As I said, which you very much disagreed with yesterday, I won't listen to relationship talk. I close it down.

What I am not saying is 'oh, Isla is your girlfriend? That's great'

girlmom21 · 04/07/2022 16:29

@FiveHargreeves I think I misunderstood your initial post. I read it as you won't allow them to discuss relationships at all - so "oh that's just auntie Jane's friend Bill" rather than her new partner or whatever whereas you just mean you won't entertain them telling you they have a boyfriend or girlfriend

LittleSockOfHorrors · 04/07/2022 16:53

Why did you ask about sex education then @girlmom21 , if you thought she was talking about Aunties?

girlmom21 · 04/07/2022 17:24

LittleSockOfHorrors · 04/07/2022 16:53

Why did you ask about sex education then @girlmom21 , if you thought she was talking about Aunties?

Because I thought she was just refusing to acknowledge conversations about any relationships at any age (as in regardless of the age of the person in the relationship) until the children were post-puberty - and my point was it's a bit strange to refuse to acknowledge relationships but have to teach, and accept they'd be taught, about sex and the fact that two adults in a relationship will have sex, but clearly I massively misunderstood, which I acknowledged.

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