Being a late bloomer lesbian

[Michelad]

I'm now in my late 30's and have only come out in the last couple of years. For years I thought I was bisexual but I have realised that I prefer women. Anyway I've been through a bit of a difficult time the last while because I feel so alone with it all, everyone close to me knows my orientation and are loving and accepting but I feel incredibly alone. I'm living in Ireland and all thats in the area I live in is a lesbian support centre but I haven't found them great to be honest. I found a lot of cliques there and it was difficult to even make friends. I see women around me seem to effortlessly meet partners and it just makes me feel like it will never be my time and it's too late for me.
I think what also affects my confidence is the fact I have a long term disability and I keep thinking I have nothing to offer someone, even though logically I know that isn't true, I'm a kind and loving person and some women would really value those qualities.

I've just started therapy and am processing all of these things aswell so that is a start. Anyone else been through something similar or otherwise just have any advice as I just find myself spiralling sometimes

No real advice. But try to enjoy it! Have you tried online dating / chatting? You're under no pressure to rush into anything, but it may help to see who's 'out there' and just chat.

@BritInAus I haven't tried online dating yet. I might have a look at what's around though

I also live in Ireland and came out a few years ago in my mid 30s. I was in a relationship for a few years which recently ended and I agree that it can be difficult to meet new people. I tried online dating a few years ago and although I didn't end up in a relationship from it, I did meet a couple of girls who are really good friends now.

@Taleas0ldastime online dating sounds like a good idea and may lead to some good friendships even if things don't work out

Prefer women or are exclusively attracted to them?

Is this actually anything to do with the 'lesbian' aspect? It sounds more to me that you lack confidence in dating, and it's easy to make it about being gay, when it's actually just to do with your self esteem.

Anybody who thinks they have nothing to offer will have trouble meeting new people. I think this is your issue:

I keep thinking I have nothing to offer someone, even though logically I know that isn't true

Your feelings are doing one thing, but your mind is doing another.

I’m going through the same thing

I’m older than the OP but just thought I’d share my story here. in my case back in 2020 and lockdown I was incredibly lonely , I’ve been divorced for a few years and at the time I was 42 just going through Tinder and tolerating all the awfulness that goes with the app. On a whim I started looking at women too and again it’s not a great app as there’s next to no one around my age. A friend of mine suggested I change the age settings and forget about age which is how I ended up matching with my amazing girlfriend, I did date a couple of women and nothing really clicked and all of a sudden there was this 23 year old, beautiful, funny , intelligent and we got on so well

we spoke for a couple of months and then I bit the bullet and went on a date, and I’d never enjoyed kissing someone so much in my life before her. We had sex on our second date, neither of us were particularly experience but that’s the great thing about women, there’s no rush so we spent 4 hours together exploring

at first I thought this was just going to be a fling, the age gap was big and I was scared how people would react. My parents have been fine, my friends love my girlfriend though my bestie does refer to me as a cougar haha . It’s actually quite nice having someone younger in my life , her parents are fine too, it helps that they’re in their late 50s too. My daughter who’s now 20 gets on really well with my gf, they’re like friends and thankfully it’s all working