MIL Troubles

[KittenCatt]

I have been having trouble with my partner’s mother, I find her to be too much and overbearing. She messages me several times a day, and if my partner doesn’t reply to her within half-an hour. She’ll ask me why, whilst I’m at work! It’s too much.

My main issue is that she has been making unsolicited comments about my weight. She has said “you look healthier than when I first met you. You were too thin before.” “Those trousers make you look very thin” and “are you sure those jeans will fit you? They’re awfully big” (For context, I’m a size 10).

I have spoken to her once before about how I don’t want comments made about my weight. But she hasn’t listened and I’m sick of it.

She has also been making comments about the weight of various acquaintances behind their back to me, such as so-and-so “keeps getting bigger and bigger”. I dread to think what she says about me when I’m not around.

I know she has issues with her own weight, and I feel that she’s projecting it onto me.

Can I have some advice on what’s best to do about this please? I need all the help I can get!

Put her on mute and archive her number.

Stop seeing her and tell your partner why.

She is a rude, ignorant woman.

Think long and hard about having children with him if he hasn't got your back on this matter.

This will be your life unless you are ruthless with him and his mother.

Stop accepting her rudeness.

Harden your boundaries by telling him she is rude and you no longer wish to see her because of it.

How he responds should inform your future decisions.

I totally understand what you mean OP. My PIL used to make comments about my weight a lot! All seeming complimentary but it used to drive me mad. I don't see why my weight is something to talk about unless it's some kind of extreme and unhealthy. PILs too like to talk about other peoples weight.

I just used to change subject every single time. Literally would never respond to the compliment and just change the subject. They eventually got the message, had they not I would have been more direct and just said weight is something I'm not comfortable discussing.

What Billy1966 wrote here in its entirety. Stop accepting such from her and block her access to you also because you would not tolerate this from a friend.

What does your man think of his mother’s behaviour?. He is key here. If he cannot stand up for himself he is not going to be able to stand up for you here when it comes to his mother.

Billy is spot on - I can't add anything more other than to advise you eat a big pie/ cream cake/ enormous portion of fish n chips in front of her before you decide to block her.
She may spontaneously combust.😉

Thank you. I’d love to block her, but she lives close to me. I will have a chat with my partner tonight and see what she thinks

It matters not that she lives close to you; I would block her all the same.

Hopefully your man is not a mouse when it comes to his mother or the sort who says, "well you know what she is like".

Thank you