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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Sex after breakup

5 replies

Paim · 03/07/2022 08:37

Ok, I’m new to this but I’ll try and keep it short. About over a month ago my husband ended things with me again because he doesn’t like my child…this has been a reoccurring theme for 6 years and yes I know I shouldn’t have stayed. There was also a lot of control, jealousy etc. It was very heartbreaking regardless for me until I found out he had been telling lies to people about the situation etc. this was the first time I didn’t cry. I didn’t feel bad anymore I just felt so angry. I know I still love him but regardless it’s over and I’m just so in disbelief with him. Fast forward to last night, I was flirting with a friend (male) and thought, well why not and slept with him but I just feel so disgusted in myself and eaten up with guilt. I feel so low. I feel like I’ve cheated when I know I clearly haven’t and know I’m not with anyone but I’m wondering if anyone has ever had this? I know now I’m clearly not ready and need to still focus on myself and my son but I feel like I had a moment of “I’ll do what I want now”
sorry for the ramble.

OP posts:
KangarooKenny · 03/07/2022 08:39

And how would you feel if you found out your DH had shagged someone ? Would that make you feel better, less guilty ?

Paim · 03/07/2022 08:45

I think I would feel so bad. I know we aren’t getting back together but I feel so stupid.

OP posts:
Paim · 03/07/2022 08:56

At the same time, it would help I guess because then I know he’s doing it too. Sorry I kind of misunderstood at first

OP posts:
KangarooKenny · 03/07/2022 09:25

You need to see him for what he actually is, not the dream relationship that you think of. He doesn’t sound great TBH, and you need to find a way to let go and move on.

Paim · 03/07/2022 09:28

You’re right. I have been a fool. I won’t say it’s all his fault because relationships take two but regardless I should have never allowed my son to be subjected to him either. It’s a lot more that went on but the gist is said. I just still love him and obviously it was a very passionate relationship too at times. It’s hard for me to let go after all this time but I know I have too. I hope I stop feeling guilty soon because I know I did nothing wrong and I’ve learned that I am not ready and really do not want this.

OP posts:
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