I need to leave him don’t i?

[Yumyumcakes]

sorry Cross posted.

but I need a handhold, im just sat in tears , i need a little strength, my marriage is over and I need to leave, dh had another outburst today, he dressed dd (nearly 3) in shorts and t shirt and socks pulled up to her calves in pissing down rain, I told him it was daft because she’s going to be cold. All hell broke loose, he started raving and ranting, calling me names, picked up his suitcase packed his stuff called a taxi, said bye to the kids (nearly 3 and 6 months) and walked out. Came back half an hr later. But the impact of the raving and ranting, dd became hyper and running around, I’d only describe it as frantic ,clearly emotionally distressed.

i have no one, smp so not rolling in it, can’t afford mortgage alone. But life isn’t meant to be like this, the impact on that poor little girl, seeing how it impacted her then and there the raving and ranting. I just want to be happy, but I guess no one would ever want me again, but It doesn’t really matter does it as long as they’re ok.

just need a bit of strength and a handhold to know the marriage needs to end

Oh @Yumyumcakes 💐

I'm so sorry this is happening to you. You're right- you do need to leave him. It seems bleak now but you will be so much better without this horrible abuser doing this to you and your kids.

My ex husband used to run off in arguments and disappear for days at a time. Things escalated until we finally split up. It was horrible and stressful but I'm so glad to not be around him now. Better for the kids too.

I know it’s not right and this isn’t what life is meant to be like, but I just feel so trapped, there’s nowhere I can go, I’m not earning right now, I still have that stupid motherfucking glimmer of hope that it will be ok, but it won’t will it. I grew up in child abuse, it’s what I’ve always known. I’m so sad it’s continuing

It isn't continuing because you aren't letting it continue. You should be proud that you are strong enough to break the cycle for your kids.

One of my uncles was like this. My cousins grew up frightened and trying to fix it all of the time. It's so sad to see tiny kids trying to work out how to make their parents less angry. They couldn't of course, so it then set the pattern for their adulthood of trying to fix other people in turn.

@Yumyumcakes I strongly recommend you contact Womens Aid, they've been a fantastic support to me in the past and got me through the awful early days of my separation from my ex. Would you be eligible for any UC at all? Citizens Advice might be able to help too?