Online dating is awful

[Grossedoutyuck]

I’m on Bumble and Hinge. And I’m gobsmacked by the number of men who are ‘unsure’ about what they want despite being 40 something. The number of profiles I’ve been saying they’re in a relationship but they’re partner is open (really?). The many men with sooooo many negatives in their profiles ‘no gold diggers’ and ‘no crazies’ and ‘not too much make up’ and requirements of ‘size 12 and over don’t message’. The cat and fish pictures.

I mean wth 😳

Do I need to try more traditional sites like eharmony?

Laughable isn't it. All these men are of course outstanding examples of physical masculinity with bodies like Ryan Reynolds. 😂😂

You could try meeting people in real life! Running club? Meet-ups? Martial arts classes etc? Young farmers?

As my fave person Lalalaletmeexplain says, these guys cock block themselves 😂

Oh me too, fed up. What is it with selfies in bathrooms, in bedrooms with unmade beds, with kids, and worse of all, with much better looking friends! And don't get me started on the naked in bed, or on a beach (yucky budgie smugglers)...
It's v depressing and I too am going to look at meet up, or Lord help me, park run (I can't run).
Paying-only sites might be good as it clears out people who aren't serious?

I don't mind the ones who tell you straight away what they don't want (no crazies, fatties, etc). It makes it easier to swap left and they are gone.

The bigger issue is those who pretend they are normal and after a couple of messages, they start showing those traits

Ignore them. Respond only to ones who appeal to you.

This isn't an online dating thing. There's shitty people in nightclubs, bookgroups, running clubs, everywhere. Hang around in a place where people hook up, you'll always find them in full force.

Oh god, can so relate. OLD has been a huge eye opener as to how awful some men are. Laughably bad. Too many variations on that to list them all.
As someone who’s flitted in and out of it for years, the only way to cope with it mentally is as a PP said - you are literally seeing ALL men, good, dire, mediocre, dangerous, and (rarely) normal open human beings.

I’d love to bin it all off but a) I’m a romantic and can’t let go of the notion there’s someone out there who’s right for me and b) I cannot be arsed to join a running/photography/climbing/it nerds group or wherever blokes hangout!

But they're all shit!
I haven't done OLD since i was in my early 40s but omg what a soul destroying 5 years. They were all about 5 years older, all had one eye over my shoulder looking for something better. And when i think back, one was an avoidant voyeur, one was a bitter lying wannabe player, one just wanted somebody to make his xw think "well fuck me!" but obviously she would actually have been thinking "it wont last'.

After five years of being made to feel worthless online i met somebody in real life. He was certain he wanted to be with me. It was so nice not to be figuring things out.

The whole OLD thing so rarely works

What are you looking for on OLD @Grossedoutyuck

Do you want children, or have them already, want to move in/cohabit with someone, marry or are only looking for someone for "you" and mone of the other life milestones I've mentioned?

I think OLD is a way to meet more people, like parties used to be. And within that cohort, there will be a number of unsuitable romantic partners.

I was OLD when I was late 30s and desperate to meet someone with whom I could settle down with and have a family. I did meet a couple of nice men and had tow good relationships out of it, none lasted in the long run as we were at different stages of our lives and I ended up being a solo parent via a sperm donor. I was miserable and depressed with OLD because I had had extremely high unrealistic hopes for myself which most likely wouldn't have been met in real life either.

Tinder is your best bet. Seriously.
Paid sites attract the abnormal freaky, narcissist ones as opposed to just the standard run of the mill idiots.