Shall I call it quits

[A203]

Hello
first all thank you for reading my post
so me and my partner started dating 9years ago after chatting online, he lived 3.5hrs away.
things were fine and saw each other most weekends, this carried on for nearly 2 yrs (not by my choice I was at the stage where it felt like it wasn’t going anywhere)
I fell pregnant(I never wanted children at the time) after some discussion we decided to keep the baby and things would change,that never happened there was always some excuse like he had work etc, I had the baby and became very Ill and still was just a weekend visit, we had so many disagreements about it.
then came his family who wanted me to give up everything I had where I was to move in his mums place because I wouldn’t,things turned sour. Eventually when our son was nearly 1 i told him I wasnt doing it alone anymore it was all or nothing and he did move down but still goes back every week to his family then every other weekend with me and our son. Through the years things have happened his family never come here but we were always expected to go there, all his doctors dentist hair appointments etc are still up there.
iv caught message between him and his mum slagging me off more than once and even our son( so recently stopped are visits) We now been together 9years and honestly don’t know how we got this far I told him to go but he begs to stay and that things will be different but they never are, he’s a lovely guy in general but feel he lives 2 life’s one with us one with his family and they always come first. I honestly feel he doesn’t really want to be here and I can’t forgoing for the messages. should I stop being a door mat and call it a day for good?
sorry for the long post I tried giving the short version thank you for any reply’s

That sounds really unfair to you. You must spend a lot of time on eggshells, wondering when he’s coming, how long he’s staying, etc. I bet you can’t rely on him to look after your DC either, can you? Or make plans of your own as you don’t know when he’ll be with you?

Ditch him. I bet six months down the line you’ll feel more relaxed, more confident, have a lot more fun in your life, and be looking back thinking “what the fuck was I doing?”

Run.

You'll never be the priority.

I honestly couldn’t describe it better I never know where I stand and don’t feel either me or our son are priority in his life, I think I’m to laid back and aloud this to happen for far to long, the mother I. Law has played a big part in this break down (more than what’s been said) but no point placing blame as a lot of things have built up over time, I know what I need to do and have for awhile thank you both for your replies

Do what your head is telling you. It sounds like you probably do want to call it quits but you want some reassurance you're doing the right thing and it sounds like you are. You don't sound happy and you deserve to be. What do your family think about it?

Your right I’m not happy, he is a great guy and I could do a lot worse just don’t think his priorities are in the right place, my family like him but they don’t have to live with the coming and going

Hey OP how have things been since?