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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Does it make a difference???

8 replies

Louie26 · 01/07/2022 13:06

Things are not great with my husband right now and it's getting to the point I feel he is pushing me away and wants me to say it's over

BUT does this make a difference in anything from the mortgage to divorce etc?????

OP posts:
fedup078 · 01/07/2022 13:11

No it doesn't

HerTableLaid · 01/07/2022 13:11

Not sure I understand what you’re asking. Do you mean does it make a difference to a divorce settlement which one of you is the one who ends the marriage? How would it impact your mortgage?

sleepymum50 · 01/07/2022 13:26

I don’t think it makes a difference on a no fault divorce. I’m separating and I’m the one who called time on our marriage. But still to sort out finances. So don’t know from experience.

He might just not be able to say the words “let’s divorce”, or it could be any level of game playing. He might prefer to be seen as the injured party (victim) when he tells friends and family. Or he wants to take the high ground, and make you feel guilty and thus gets more sympathy. As in “I’m not the one doing this” Or in my husbands case push for an unequal financial settlement.

Only you know your husband and can work out which one of these it could be.

Louie26 · 01/07/2022 14:07

HerTableLaid · 01/07/2022 13:11

Not sure I understand what you’re asking. Do you mean does it make a difference to a divorce settlement which one of you is the one who ends the marriage? How would it impact your mortgage?

It's because before we were close to splitting up earlier in the year and he changed his mind and now it feels like he wants me to end it
So I didn't know if it made any differences, he is very clever so I wasn't sure if there was a reason other than to save face to say the reason we broke up

OP posts:
ElizaJones · 01/07/2022 14:31

It makes no difference at all

Itwasntmeright · 01/07/2022 14:35

It makes not one jot of difference who wants to end the marriage or why. The divorce settlement should be fair on all parties, regardless of what happened to bring the marriage to an end.

LunaAndHerMoonDragons · 01/07/2022 14:39

No difference at all who applies for the divorce or why. If one of you had a heap of affairs that still wouldn't effect the settlement. Financial settlements in divorces are based on a combination of factors, like if you have dependent shared DC, how much care you'll both be doing, how much you both earn, housing needs, if you've taken time off as a STAH patent for baby/toddler/preschooler.

KangarooKenny · 01/07/2022 17:03

No fault divorce means it doesn’t matter.
Keep an eye on any joint finances/investments.

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