Is it worth it

[Ariel890s]

How do you deal with your other half that won’t communicate his feelings I’m finding it so hard I love my boyfriend but I’m struggling with his lack of emotions it’s like he never says anything like I love you, we’re always planning things and stuff together I’m just feeling really deflated I’ve never been with someone who isn’t as outspoken as me I guess

Affection can be given in other ways: holding hands, brushing hair out your eyes

if he doesn’t do any of these either I’d be off .

How long have you been together? Some people are more demonstrative than others but I wouldn’t be happy if he never says anything loving, that sounds crap.

We have been together 9 months it just gets me down a bit he never says anything, I don’t want to say anything and sound like a child he’s been hurt in the past if I say to him stuff it’s like he doesn’t believe it

Low self esteem and poor communication skills do not make for a good partner. Maybe it's time to call it a day unless you want a lifetime of this. You can't make him into the person you want him to be.

I’m not trying to make him into anything maybe he needs a bit more time I love him I can’t just break up with him we have plans

You deserve a partner who will be an adult in the relationship: a partner who will communicate with you and not expect you to mindread.

If he never talks to you then how will you know when you disagree? Will you know he isn't silently seething with resentment?

We do communicate we get on very well it’s the feelings side he doesn’t express much to me he isn’t resentful he hasn’t anything to resent

He makes you feel deflated. If you want to feel deflated, stay with him. If you don't want to feel deflated, ask him if he's willing to work this through with you. If he does, great. If he doesn't (or doesn't prove himself able to), then leave.

It's not rocket science. Spend your time with people you feel good with. Avoid those with whom you feel not good.

Your emotional needs aren't being met.

In my experience that only leads to difficulties as it means you're fundamentally not compatible in a really important way.

Neither partner has to be right / wrong / good / bad to be incompatible with the other.

You don't want to spend the rest of your life hoping someone shares their feelings with you in a way they aren't capable or comfortable with.

It's not fair on either party IMO.

Neither partner has to be right / wrong / good / bad to be incompatible with the other

Quite, and it's not even a one way thing. If I'm incompatible with you, you are incompatible with me, and for exactly the same reasons. It's a team effort!

It’s a shame because this is the only issue lack of communication on that part everything else is good

Have you told him how you feel?

No I want to do it I’m seeing him on the weekend we’re going out for the night but drinking so I don’t think that’s a good idea, and I don’t want to do it via text either

That isn't communication. If your relationship continues there will be, inevitably, things that rub him up the wrong way and vice versa. That's just how human beings work. If you're not able to talk about that with each other it won't be right.

Your right yes I can come across a bit too ott sometimes I just like to express how I feel I guess not everyone’s the same

Would he not prioritise an important chat about your relationship over going out drinking? Would you not?

I don’t want to bring it up on the day we’re goin go out together

But surely lack of communication is a HUGE issue even if it is the "only" issue.

You're only 9 months in and he's making you feel deflated. Do you really want to fall deeper? Sounds like he isn't the right person for you.