My husband and I can't seem to spend one evening these days without it turning into an argument. We have been married for 25 yrs. He has never made any new friends since I've known him and has one old school mate & another guy who he sees a few times a year. I have a few friends some of which are close and whom I can talk to about anything really incl difficulties relating to work / life in general. My husband is a loner really but is happy to mix with my friends and take over the conversation (disregarding me and can be somewhat flirtatious - not in a harmful way)! If we are out with other people it's as if I'm not there. He has turned his back on me many times and has left me standing behind him whilst he engages in conversation with people. I find it rude but when I've mentioned it he thinks I am being ridiculous! I consider myself the type of person who is empathetic and supportive. I am quite sociable too. My husband never suggests going out unless it's for a bike ride/walk which i enjoy but not with him. I know it's an awful thing to say! But it's because I find his company annoying and boring. His idea of conversation is asking me what someone who he's never met before but has heard about through me is doing for their holiday! I have no interest in discussing that with him. So I say I don't know, then he'll say they must have told you?! When I say perhaps they did but why are you asking .. he gets stroppy and says he's trying to make conversation and asks what is wrong with me! I don't want to talk about work colleagues that's why!!
He never listens either. If I explain something that happened, he will say something like ... why don't you do so and so! But in my explanation I had already mentioned that! He will then argue that I didn't mention it! This is one example of a continual frustrating cycle with him. He also finds it odd how i can meet with friends and chat for 4 hrs. He says he runs out of things to say when he meets his friend! We argue constantly- he is not on my wavelength at all and I generally get on well with most people. I don't feel like I want to hug/kiss him. We haven't done you know what for five years as I don't enjoy it with him! Sorry quite a long moan, hope it makes sense!! Not sure where to go from here as he's not the type to self reflect in order to grow and make changes 😏.So it's difficult to try and improve things between.