Wary of talking about money

[KangarooKenny]

I’m in a long marriage, and it’s not good any more, put up with loads and now just two people living together.
Anyway, I realised a while back that I’m anxious about discussing money now, yet I used to have loads of confidence and balls. I now let things slide rather than have an uncomfortable conversation.
Ive just mentioned something today and he pulled a ‘face’ , and I’ve realised that he does this to prevent the talk. This is what has made me reluctant to speak.
Im not scared of him at all, he’s a nice kind man, but I he’s done something psychological to me.

Does he stop you from spending money. He is not nice at all if he won't discuss your worries with you.

What do you think the consequences would be if you carried on with the conversation, rather than heeding 'the face'?

No, he spends too much and uses our savings to pay off his CC.

There would be strong words and I’d probably say it’s over.

Then I think it's over.

Move your savings to an account he can't access, and leave him. He's emotionally and financially abusing you.

This is why I’ve written the post, I think he has emotionally abused me.
Financially it’s his money too, so he’s done nothing wrong. But morally I think he should ask/inform/discuss taking money from a joint account.

I don’t know how much I’d take if I did split it. 50 % is fair, yet he has taken thousands out to pay off his CC.

Calculate what ge has taken then add that to the total, divide by half and take your "share". Inform him that he has been spend his contribution and you have chosen to safeguard yours (you don't need to say safeguard against him if you don't want to - imply it is future-proofing if you prefer)

I agree with @JustALittleHelpPlease 's calculation there, but I think I'd be informing him that I was leaving him, and let him work it out himself re the money.

I don’t see why I should pay towards his CC, so I’ve halved what’s in there then added what he has removed for his CC in the last 12 months. If and when I jump, that’s what I’ll take.

The starting point is an even split, this is adjusted if say there are dependent children to consider. It isn’t adjusted because you think he spent too much during the marriage.

What if it's not still in there? Can you take it now and park it?

He has collected stuff that is worth money, and the money for that has come out of our joint savings. I wasn’t asked if he could take it. Why should he profit ?

Kangaroo "Ive just mentioned something today and he pulled a ‘face’ , and I’ve realised that he does this to prevent the talk. This is what has made me reluctant to speak.
Im not scared of him at all, he’s a nice kind man, but I he’s done something psychological to me."

he's nice and kind but you can't cope because he pulls a face?

And if pushed, you'd say it's over?

i think you are nervous to admit to yourself that it's over, rather than "he" has done something to you.

You need to take it now.