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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Break.

12 replies

emmaxo · 29/06/2022 20:11

Me and my boyfriend have decided to go on a break for a few reason we have a little girl together who is one. I am still in the house with our child and he's staying at his friends this week. But today he's not really text me at all should I be worried. Also I have found it really hard being myself with our daughter am absolutely exhausted she's teething badly and is still getting up during the night for a bottle and waking at 5am I have to hold her most of the time if I put her down she screams absolute murder I can't help but feel annoyed he's sleeping in till 9 and doing what he wants while I am mentally and physically exhausted and struggling.

OP posts:
Khix · 29/06/2022 20:30

I’m sorry you are on your own, that is super tough!
Although a break means a break from each other, it doesn’t mean him having a break from your child and you doing all the work!
Tell him he has to have her for two nights this week. If he complains, tell him that if you stay separated, this is what it would be like every week.
He won’t like it, but you shouldn’t have to be the sole parent either.

Hiddenvoice · 29/06/2022 20:45

I agree with the pp. A break tends to mean not much communication between the two of you. Have you contacted him?
I also agree that you two are the ones having the break which means he should not stop seeing your child. Contact him and say he needs to visit your child and take her overnight for a few nights so he should arrange somewhere to stay that he can take your daughter with him.

heartbroken22 · 29/06/2022 22:24

Can he have her for a bit? It's only fair.

User1406 · 29/06/2022 22:42

I wouldn't be worried about him not texting you. If you're on a break, contact should be limited anyway.

However, as you have a daughter, surely he should still be helping out? He's on a break with you, not from parenting. He needs to pull his weight, it's not some kind of holiday from real-life responsibilities.

Onthedunes · 29/06/2022 23:59

How lovely for him, a break from grown up responsibilities.

A week
He can take babe for three days, overnight too.

Get your glad rags on and get out whilst he parents.
Tosser.

Noglassjustthebottleandastraw · 30/06/2022 00:13

Agree with above pp. A break means time out and space to think about your relationship not him having time out from parenting. Don't worry about not speaking to him often/daily that's the point of the break. Why isn't he looking after your dd at least 50% of the week?

As a side note I would speak with your gp/hv and look at ways to help your child with her attachment issues.

emmaxo · 30/06/2022 07:23

Noglassjustthebottleandastraw · 30/06/2022 00:13

Agree with above pp. A break means time out and space to think about your relationship not him having time out from parenting. Don't worry about not speaking to him often/daily that's the point of the break. Why isn't he looking after your dd at least 50% of the week?

As a side note I would speak with your gp/hv and look at ways to help your child with her attachment issues.

He works full time from 12:30pm-8 he's nowhere to take her as his friends house isn't really a place for a baby but to be honest he's not even asked to see her or take her

OP posts:
emmaxo · 30/06/2022 07:26

Khix · 29/06/2022 20:30

I’m sorry you are on your own, that is super tough!
Although a break means a break from each other, it doesn’t mean him having a break from your child and you doing all the work!
Tell him he has to have her for two nights this week. If he complains, tell him that if you stay separated, this is what it would be like every week.
He won’t like it, but you shouldn’t have to be the sole parent either.

He's nowhere really good take her that would be the problem too if we did split after this he wouldn't see her for months till he got a house.

OP posts:
emmaxo · 30/06/2022 07:28

User1406 · 29/06/2022 22:42

I wouldn't be worried about him not texting you. If you're on a break, contact should be limited anyway.

However, as you have a daughter, surely he should still be helping out? He's on a break with you, not from parenting. He needs to pull his weight, it's not some kind of holiday from real-life responsibilities.

That's what it feels like and it's not fair I have expressed to him I am shattered and exhausted and he said well this is what it would be like if we broke up and that's just how it is the mum takes care of the baby full time

OP posts:
Teeturtle · 30/06/2022 08:43

He’s having a nice little e holiday isn’t he. Make this break a permanent one, he will if he finds he is enjoying life enough.

CJsGoldfish · 30/06/2022 09:37

Be wary OP.
He'll be seeing if the grass is greener. If it isn't, or he gets knocked back, he'll be back 🤷‍♀️

AubadeIsIt · 30/06/2022 14:55

No problem him being at a friend's house -- tell him he can look after your daughter at your home and you go a relatives or friends. That's a poor excuse on his part.

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