Dating – thoughtful and GC?

[PotteringPondering]

Loving MN, including the Feminism/Sex & Gender thread. Makes me realise that top of my wish-list for dating and new friendships are:

• thoughtful
• gender-critical

Aware these are not always priorities in Tinderland…

As MN doesn’t have its own dating site, what comes closest? (I’m a 50s m, if that’s relevant.) I’m assuming Bumble? Am I missing an obvious place where the thoughtful and gender-critical go for dating?

I think the majority of men are GC even if they don't realise it (and obviously it doesn't really ever disadvantage them, so most don't care/haven't considered it).
Bumble has the option to add your pro-nouns, so I always left swipe those that use them - I'm filtering men aged 40-50 - if I can't spot which ones were born male at that age I need to get myself a guide dog, I don't need pro-nouns to help me!

In the friendship section of bumble there are many many trans women looking for women to be besties which and go shopping, do each other as hair and makeup, again very easy to spot as they have to upload photos.

Good thought: avoid profiles that add pronouns.

Not that I'm against having a friendship with a trans woman - but their interests (as listed on bumble) are so alien to me.

I'm not sure I've ever been clothing shopping with a girl friend (dragged lots of bored male partners though) and make-up shopping I definitely do alone as it's pretty boring for me and I just want to ask the sales assistant what I need, pay and get out of there.

I want friends I can go to the pub with!

I wouldn't stress too much about it. At our age it's quite rare to be full on genderist, though certainly not unknown.

I'd look carefully at the profiles particularly of IT professionals, academics, writers and performers.

The question is, what do you mean by gender critical? Are you looking for someone with trans friends who has been wrestling with this for years, someone who is a political activist, someone who just knows that the lefties are being ridiculous? Or something else?

The simplest signal i have found among women is some early mention of JK Rowling. Maybe you recently read one of her detective novels? The reaction should tell you a lot.

Helpful questions for me to ponder, thanks. I think I just mean somebody who is healthily sceptical about the whole thing, and sees why single-sex spaces matter.

I like the idea of mentioning JK Rowling to test the water.

Twitter?

I just had a first date with a guy who slagged off jk rolling for her views. There won't be a second date lol.

But in my 30s I do feel there is actually a lot off 'woke' men around. Lots of whom, also tend to to on to make sense clear that they actually, don't like women. So it's a worry for me.

But bumble wise, I only use it for friendships atm but I've noticed I avoid anyone who uses pronouns too. Anyone putting that shit on their profile is probably going to be a right headache.

*go on to make things clear