Is it emotional abuse or am I overreacting?

[Sbj10]

i’m just going to list the things that I think are red flags. I’m genuinely confused, so I really want some outside perspective, please be honest!

1. I will say something, or my partner will say something, and he will be adamant that he/I didn’t, and will get angry
2. He has previously punched holes in the walls, and throws things about the house when in an argument
3. I have not been paying rent as due to his income, my universal credit didn’t allow for me to contribute and pay for the bills and our child, he has now decided that he wants to take me off the tenancy, which I have said I am not comfortable with as it leaves me and my child with no legal right to remain, he has told me to F off
4. he is constantly telling me everything that’s wrong with me, and that I am a bad person
5. I am going to medical school this year, he has repeatedly told me he doesn’t think I’ll be able to cope, and has expressed that he isn’t happy with it because he will have less time to go out with his friends
6. he blames everything on me, his back hurts? My fault. He can’t focus on work? My fault. He can’t focus on his music? My fault
7. during a recent conversation about how we could be better in the relationship, I admitted to some flaws, and related them to my past trauma. He told me that I am the reason he acts the way he does, he only treats me badly because of me.
8. whilst working, I was made to feel extremely guilty, and was told I was not allowed to take on overtime as he couldn’t cope looking after our child, and he wouldn’t have enough free time. It is the same any time I go out, I have stopped going out to avoid arguments.

Emotional abuse. Threatening behaviour. Financial abuse (stopped you working more hours). Controlling behaviour. Mind games. Honestly get rid of him now before he has a chance to take you off that tenancy. Being a single, working parent is hard, I'm not going to lie, but it's miles better than putting up with this shit. Do it now or it won't just be doors he'll be hitting, please take my word for it.

Yes, this is abuse. Majorly so. He is controlling - you're not allowed out but he is, he puts you down, he tells you that his abuse is your fault! You are his whipping post and a scapegoat for every single thing that goes wrong instead of him having some self-control.

I don't honestly know why or how you are staying with him - I couldn't.

Contact Womens Aid and see what help they can offer because it's really not going to get any better. With him hanging over you being abusive about your abilities (and not encouraging like normal partners would be) - how do you think med school will go? ANd then he'll crow over you telling you he was right and you are useless. And you'll doubt yourself even more.

If I were you I'd weigh up what I got out of this relationship and start getting my ducks in a row (quietly) ready for the speedy getaway.

Definitely emotional abuse and financial. Number 1 is fairly common but not in connection with the others.

Exactly what @CoffeeLover90 said. Please make plans to leave this ‘relationship’ asap. You’ll be so very glad you did - for yourself and your dc. You don’t want them growing up in this.

If you're thinking it might be emotional abuse, it must be making you feel bad. The 'you feeling bad' bit is the red flag. There's no conclusive list of red flags; it's all about how you feel.

The real question you need to be asking yourself is 'Why would I stay in a relationship I think might be emotionally abusive?'

Why would you?

Emotional, physical and financial abuse. As your child lives in the house too it’s also child abuse.

Emotional abuse, gaslighting, financial abuse, controlling behaviour. Dump him. What does he bring to your life??

If you're going to medical school, you're clearly bright and have a great future. Don't let him bring you down.

Dump him and move on. Apply for CMS. Talk to Women's Aid to see what help they can offer you. And do the Freedom Programme. NONE of this is normal in a healthy relationship.

Yes it is. My ex was like this and ended up getting physical aswell (which is when I left).
Definitely make plans to leave