Is he leading me on?

[Tcbay52]

I've been interacting with this guy for a few months now and it's been an emotional rollercoaster. We are both in our early 20s. We were doing a big project together at university. At first he would flirt with me, look at me, make me laugh, he was the one to initiate touch, he'd sit close and ask me questions. He remembered some things that I said before and brought them up in conversations. Once he suggested to study together outside of university but never followed up on it. After that he'd act like I didn't exist. It honestly looked like he disliked me. When I reciprocated flirting he seemed excited and would get more touchy but when I texted first sometimes he would take a day to text back (I saw he uses the phone often) or when we met he'd be mean and jokingly insult me. He would text me first (both in the morning and past midnight) but it seemed like he didn't really want to engage in a longer conversation. His texts were kind of short and superficial, some contained hug/touch emojis. There was a time when he flirted with my friend in front of me too. He rarely approached me throughout these few months. Recently I got fed up with it and decided to pay him less attention, that's when he talked to me first but he only asked how I was doing. I also felt his gaze on me sporadically. We don't text anymore though. I can't figure out if he only wants one thing, he's shy or he's been breadcrumbing me from the beginning. I don't know whether I should talk to him more or move on. I was flirty too, didn't he understand my signals? I'm pretty sure that I've been just an option or maybe he has a girlfriend already. I noticed he brags a lot so I thought he might have narcissistic tendencies as well. Could you give me some advice? I'm so tired of this.

Just ignore him and move on. Early 20s? You should be having a ball! This is all too much crap.

He isn't going to be a kind, committed, thoughtful person any time soon. He is stringing you along and playing the 'push me pull you' game.

Just give this one up, it's a waste of time
There is no confusion if he's into you.

Don’t get embroiled in trying to analyse his personality. He’s probably not a narcissist. He certainly doesnt sound shy… he sounds like a bloke in his early 20’s probably not in need of a steady girlfriend right now. Make chit chat if you want to, have a joke but keep your expectations low

Your responsibility to yourself is to find people with whom you have calm, clear, and enjoyable communication and understanding.

Avoid anyone else. It doesn't matter if he's leading you on or not. What he's doing isn't the issue here. Why are you engaging with someone who communicates in a way you don't get? Even if he was completely in love with you, his communication style pisses you off, so it would never work.

Actually I think this is a terrible fucking thread and if the genders were swapped around there'd be uproar!
I have a fairly outgoing personality, quite gregarious, love laughing and making people laugh. I touch folks arms, sit next to them, basically I'm a people person with people I get on with.
Other people, or if I'm feeling quieter, I'm standoffish, quiet, don't engage so much, less likely to initiate or continue conversation. I always say I can't be that energetic and sociable 24/7, so occasionally I recharge my people batteries.

Im in a happy 10 year relationship and if we applied the 'rules' you talk about, apparently I've been leading on mybiss, my milk man, my father in law, my OH best mate, my brother in law, my child's teachers, the chap from tesco, the old lady I met in a field... The list goes on....

And you know what, even if you still class that as flirting (my OH defo doesn't as he's with me for a lot of those interactions!) is certainly not 'leading someone on.

I could run up and down the tesco aisle naked shouting "I love big butt's and beards" and that is still not leading someone on.

A definition of leading someone on is' lead someone on) to encourage someone to do something or to expect something, especially by lying to them or promising them something that they cannot have' (Macmillan). He's done nothing of the sort

You really need to concentrate on your studies

@baileys6904

She said he flirted with her at various points in her OP.

Walk away, no one needs a head wrecker like that

Actually I think this is a terrible fucking thread and if the genders were swapped around there'd be uproar!

Seriously? Do we need this on every bloody thread?

@Watchkeys aye she said he flirted, because he made her laugh, talked to her and sat close. That's not necessarily flirting.
And yes @Naunet until people stop being so sexist with the double standards. Great rebut tho

Try to forget about it. I don't know if you've read into something that wasn't there or if it was, it's now gone. Months ago he flirted and was interested in things you said.
It's changed to him seemingly disliking you, flirting with your friend, insulting you, he's rarely approached you and you don't text anymore.
Maybe he thought you liked him in a way that wasn't reciprocated? It's best not to overthink it. You're tired of it, don't waste your time on it.

100% this!
Ye gods you're at university! You should be going on dates, having a carefree, fu time not wasting time and energy fretting on a guy who nothing has happened with.
If he liked you, he'd make a move but he hasnt. Forget about him and find someone else.

sounds like one of the many tedious game players I met in my early 20s. When I met (now) DH it was like a light went on - no games, direct conversations - adult communication.

throw this one back OP.

This!

When I met my DH his honestly and total lack of game-playing was so refreshing, and now it seems so obvious (I wish I'd know this when I was younger)... if you have to second-guess, read in to things someone said, analyse every interaction, if you don't know where you stand, if they blow hot and cold, then don't expect a (good) relationship will come of it.

At best you have very different communication styles and / or he is flakey and doesn't know what he wants.

At worst he is intentionally playing with you and messing with your head.

You are young. Enjoy life. Only invest time in people who make life better. If someone makes you uncertain, doubt yourself, question what you want, then they aren't good for you.