Talk me through separation please

[Bluemig]

Me and DP have 2DC. He sees himself as a good man I’m sure but the truth is he has no respect or care for me at all. I’ve told him I want to separate but nothing has happened. We have a house together (only just bought it last year). If he won’t move and won’t acknowledge we are over what do I do? I feel like I’m drowning and he seems fine carrying on as normal.

This is a tricky one @Bluemig but do you think you could be anymore straight forward than you have been? Have you told him you want him to move out?

Are you married?

Not married but 2 DC. We are both high earners. He says he wants to end things too but then the next day/ hour acts like nothing has happened. He won’t go. I don’t want to go because of the kids.

I feel like I’m going mad

See a solicitor and figure out how to proceed with the house. You don't need him to agree so that you can leave.

Yep, see a solicitor about forcing the sale.
Can you afford to move out and rent ? Have you discussed how often he’ll have the kids ?

If he won't acknowledge the problem then or discuss in any way, I'm not sure what option you have other than to leave. Can you afford to rent somewhere for you and the children whilst you take legal advice and pursue sale of house?

As others say, if you have bought a house together, then you would probably have to be one to leave as he is perfectly entitled to live in it

I could afford to rent. He won’t let me leave the house with the children. I’d have to go on my own. Which is why we are stuck

What do you mean he won't let you leave with them? How is he going to stop you? He would need to take to court and there would be a custody hearing if he was unhappy with your proposal to have residency of the children?

Are you tenants in common or joint tenants? Did you build in an agreement about what would happen if you split?

what arrangements do you expect for the children in the future? 50:50?

Who is the primary carer?

We are Joint Tenants, no agreement for if we split and very little equity in the house.

We both work flexible hours from home so are both look after DC equally.