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Original poster

Boyfriend wants me to meet his adult kids

11 replies

Fidgety31 · 28/06/2022 22:52

But I don’t want to meet them …
how Would you deal with this ?

i fully suspect the reason I don’t want to meet them is because my previous boyfriend didn’t introduce me to any of his family after five years together - so it has left me feeling very low self esteem .
new guy I’ve been with six months

how would you respond to this request ?

OP posts:
Ragwort · 28/06/2022 23:03

Just say you think it's too early.

AnneLovesGilbert · 28/06/2022 23:04

Say not yet thanks. If he respects and cares about you he’ll be fine with that.

altmember · 29/06/2022 00:47

Get counselling. There's no valid reason at all not to meet his family (including his grown up kids) after being together 6 months. They're adults, so I'm sure they can handle it, it's not like young children who do need a certain amount of protecting in this situation. Not like they're expecting you to start mothering them or calling you step mum.

I'd be properly put off if my partner of 6 months refused to meet my family.

Berlinlover · 29/06/2022 01:07

Tell him you’re not ready to meet them yet, a kind boyfriend will understand.

I’m meeting my boyfriend’s adult children for the first time this week after 18 months together, I wasn’t ready before now. We live in a different country to his children though so it didn’t seem odd!

Christinatheastonishing · 29/06/2022 01:28

If you're not ready then say so.

It's going to be an awkward conversation between him and his children though, telling them you don't want to meet them... hopefully doesn't affect your relationship with them down the track.

HeddaGarbled · 29/06/2022 01:29

I think it’s a reasonable suggestion. Would it help if you thought of it like meeting his parents or friends?

DariaMorgendorffer · 29/06/2022 02:35

altmember · 29/06/2022 00:47

Get counselling. There's no valid reason at all not to meet his family (including his grown up kids) after being together 6 months. They're adults, so I'm sure they can handle it, it's not like young children who do need a certain amount of protecting in this situation. Not like they're expecting you to start mothering them or calling you step mum.

I'd be properly put off if my partner of 6 months refused to meet my family.

This, 100% op.

Rainbowshine · 29/06/2022 13:20

What would meeting them involve? A whole day gathering that you can’t leave easily? Or a simple meeting for a coffee? If it’s a short low key thing then you ought to consider going, and work on the legacy issues from the past relationships. If it’s a bigger event maybe say you’d prefer something lower key.

Fireflygal · 29/06/2022 15:32

What is the reason for not wanting to meet them? Do you think they will reject or judge you?

How many partners has bf introduced? This would be a factor for me..I would want to know how many gf's they had met previously, as he may have a history of rushing meetings.

For those saying it's fine, 6 months is still early so I don't think it needs to be rushed.

SnowyLamb · 29/06/2022 15:35

It depends what he means by "meet"

If it's some bug family gathering I can understand why you be terrified reluctant even dinner might be overwhelming, but an informal opportunity to say hello should be OK?

AryaStarkWolf · 29/06/2022 16:38

I don't understand your reason not to meet them, surely it's a good thing he wants you to meet them and it was a bad thing that your ex never introduced you to his family in 5 years?

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