59 years old & heartbroken at being dumped (again) am I too old to start again?

[PushkaMcgee]

My (ex) partner ended our two year relationship, two weeks ago. I was, and still am, heartbroken, I honestly thought this was it, the guy I'd spend the rest of my life with. Having been dumped from a great height a few years back after a 14 year relationship and previously my ex husband ending the marriage after living a double life for a number of years I am now licking my wounds and wondering if, at 59 years old I'm going to be single for ever?

I'm doing all the right things, being kind to myself, got great friends who are incredibly supportive and forcing myself to work, the gym and playing sport, and crying a lot! I know the pain will ease and the heartbreak slowly mend but I have to admit at the back of it all is I don't want to be single! I miss the companionship, laughter and intimacy of having a partner, I'm not ashamed to admit I work better being part of a couple. Have I really missed the boat? Are there decent guys still out there at my age?

I'm not thinking about looking for someone new yet, I'm not in the right headspace, but I guess I'm just looking for reassurance that this isn't the end for me?

Of course it isn’t the end!! Your coming up 60….not dead! Companionship can even happen in your 80s and 90s so honestly, you will be fine. You’ve had a hard time so get yourself back to where you want to be and start again if you want to date….but seriously…never too old!

My uncle moved in with the lady in the next door supported living flat when he was 90 and she was 89... they got engaged but not married as it would screw the wills up !

Op I know how you feel .
I'm 50 . Had two short term relationships since the end of my last ltr which was 5 years and before that my marriage which was 25 years. And now I can't seem to work relationships out . I got dumped 3 weeks ago by someone I thought was gonna be it .
I also have work and yoga and friends but I'm feeling so jaded right now I can't seriously be arsed . I'm half heartedly online dating but I'm considering coming off because I'm tired of it all.
Feels like it's all just too much like hard work .

Thank you! I certainly don't feel my age, and, apparently, don't look it! I just need some reassurance that it's not yet time to get my granny slippers out and give up!

My grandma was still receiving proposals well into her 80s (after her husband died when she was 71)!

@stillvicarinatutu that's exactly it, jaded! It makes me feel better that I'm not the only one going through this, albeit you're younger than me. Doesn't seem to matter what age you are, getting dumped is ghastly and the pain certainly doesn't get easier! I've often thought about trying yoga, not sure I'm bendy enough though!

@GreatCrash wow! that's amazing!

If you do yoga you will become bendy!!

OP I get it. I'm almost 51 and lately I've felt like this is it for me. I've only had three serious LTR and each of them were only about 4 years long. The first two I thought that was it for me and both of them ended up cheating on me. The last one I just hung in there cause I'd given up and didn't was tired of being alone - I was basically single from 22 to 38. But I wasted years with him which I regret. Unlike you I don't look great for my age, have health problems, some that are visible and I don't ever meet anyone in person so probably am destined to be alone for the duration.

However, I have known so many people at one of my previous places of work that met and married over 55. It was really amazing so it is very possible for you to meet someone at 60. :)

@Sunnytwobridges oh I feel for you, it's tough isn't it. I do hope you do manage to find someone, don't think you're destined to be alone, who knows what's around the corner.

Thank you for your positivity, here's hoping there is still time for me, though I have to admit, heading back to the dating apps fills me with dread!

@Justcallmebebes Maybe I'll give it a go and become BendyMcgee in time!

You are never too old for friends

You are never too old for love

Don't we all feel this way at the end of an LTR?

I felt this way after my last one - I was convinced that I was done with men. It took months to get over but I'm not sure I helped myself by constantly allowing him back into my life and head space.

I'm 46 now, so a bit younger. I met someone new 6 months ago - I'm starting to feel that weird feeling called hope again.

Personally, I think so long as you believe in love and that there's someone for you, it's possible to meet someone. Good luck x

@Indig0Manta thank you, I love that x

@FriedTomatoe yes, you’re so right, I guess a lot of us do feel like this after an LTR, thank you. I’m so pleased you’ve met someone.

I need to clear my head and hopefully in a few more weeks I’ll start to feel a bit more positive.

My mum met the love of her life at 59, they were in a relationship for another 27 years. Not exactly an ideal situation but it was certainly love of a kind and she was bereft when he died.