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Original poster

Husband unemployed, going broke

32 replies

Justalonelychick · 28/06/2022 04:12

I'm in Australia. Husband was made redundant last year. He has only just now started to look for work and money ran out about a month ago. I work full time but don't earn enough to cover our mortgage. I've recently realised we were living above our means for a long time and have uncovered a huge amount of debt.
I suspect the bank will foreclose on our house soon. I have so much anger, I can't sleep. I can get a second job and try to save the house for our kids but I'm inclined to let it go, move me and the kids in with my parents and let him get on with whatever mid life crisis this is.
However, I assume this will destroy my credit rating. Would I ever be able to get a car or home loan again in the future? Could I even get a rental property?

OP posts:
NC19052022 · 28/06/2022 04:17

Oh OP, sending you so much sympathy. What a shit situation. And likely unavoidable if your husband hadn’t been such a selfish asshole. In the UK, you get quite a bit of time before the banks repossess a house. Lots of conversations to be had. So I wonder if you can make contact directly, explain, and see what your options are? They might be happy to let you sell it yourself?

I don’t think I’d be trying to save the house in your situation. Your family home has been tainted now whatever happens and for your own headspace I think you’d benefit in the long run from having started fresh with the kids.

yepmetooo · 28/06/2022 04:19

I would save home if you can. Could you rent it out for additional income. ? I don't know but assume it would go against u getting another mortgage. Id Ltb as well!

Ponderingwindow · 28/06/2022 04:50

If you can’t afford the house going forward, why not put it up for sale? With any luck between the sale price and the equity there will be enough money to pay off the mortgage and save your credit. There might even be something left over to help you relocate. Do it now before you get too far behind.

blisstwins · 28/06/2022 04:50

Is he having a mental health crisis? Is he usually different? I think we get into holes sometimes and don’t know how to get out. He is looking for work now, maybe you get the second job and try to save the house. Reach out to the baNk and see if you can get any grace time. Very hard and unfair, but see if marriage and finances are salvageable…assuming he has been out of character.

Ladida01 · 28/06/2022 05:17

Wow that sounds hard OP and I know what you are going through. But at the moment there is a huge shortage of rental properties in Australia, so even finding a rental may be really hard. Your husband needs to find work ASAP. What has stopped him from looking for work prior to this? And if you don't have one start a budget so you know what you can spend and where your money goes. Good luck with it all

NewtoHolland · 28/06/2022 05:41

Sorry he's let you down so badly OP. Can he do a quick start job like Macdonald's until he starts his next real job??
Does he have any possessions he can sell? Computers/games consoles and games/car/ hobby equipment? My husband had some gaming bits in the loft I never thought much of them..we decided to sell (he researched proves on eBay and sold for over £700. I'm assuming that your OH has been entertaining himself somehow this year of being off.

Upsidedownpineapplecake · 28/06/2022 06:32

Financial stress is very stressful. However it is best to face it straight on. If you don’t know already you need to find out the amount of mortgage and total debt. Then know how much your home is worth. Property has skyrocketed so you may have good equity.
Australia has debt lines you can ring to help. Do not be embarrassed.
Ring your bank find out what the situation really is.

Bananalanacake · 28/06/2022 06:48

Why wasn't he working all that time, was he ill.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 28/06/2022 06:49

Can you save the home long enough to sell it?

carefullycourageous · 28/06/2022 06:52

What happens when you try to talk to him about the financial situation? How has it been left so long since his redundancy? And why are you only just finding the debts now?

I personally would try to save the house rather than bail out - have you explored payment holidays while you catch your breath?

Sorry this is happening.

BuanoKubiamVej · 28/06/2022 06:55

If the house is in a good condition and wouldn't need work to make this possible, could you rent it out for enough rent to cover the mortgage while you and the kids live with your parents. That way it remains in your possession and you might be able to move back in a couple of years if things go well.

Did your DH have some kind of mental health crisis? No one rational would wait that long before starting to look for work.

KatherineJaneway · 28/06/2022 06:55

What reason did he give for not looking for work for so long?

UserError012345 · 28/06/2022 06:56

I'd sell and quick. Is there much equity?

girlmom21 · 28/06/2022 07:29

Is selling the house an option? Even if it's to one of those companies you that buy for cash at less than it's worth just to pay off the debt.

Wilburisagirl · 28/06/2022 07:31

Is it possible to sell your house before the banks for close? The banks only seek to cover their losses but you might be able to get more for it?

So sorry for what you're going through!

MrsLargeEmbodied · 28/06/2022 07:45

has he been in shock?

Original poster
Justalonelychick · 28/06/2022 10:13

His work were offering redundancy and he volunteered because he was unhappy there. He said he wanted a couple of months to get that place out of his system abd then would use his network to find something else. Well, a couple of months passed and then it was he couldn't find anything that interested him, then it was he was going to start his own business, then it was he said he was applying but not even getting interviews.... I'm feeling like he's been kidding me. He could see our bank account dwindling down and didn't even try mowing lawns or something to bring in anything. And now he's in completed denial. Thinks out tax refunds will be enough to keep the bank off our backs but that will only buy us a couple of weeks.

OP posts:
MrsLargeEmbodied · 28/06/2022 11:08

oh dear
perhaps an appointment with the bank will spur him on!

thelastshadowpuppet · 28/06/2022 11:45

Don't just give up your house, that's bonkers.

Villagewaspbyke · 28/06/2022 11:54

What do you mean that you discovered you were “living above your means”? Did he lie about how much he was getting paid? Where did the debt come from? Day to fmday life or do you think gambling or something like that? Is he trying to get a job? Do you want to separate?

redastherose · 28/06/2022 22:52

Go see the bank yourself, find out precisely how you stand. Check to see if you are able to claim any benefits to help you atm especially if you ask him to leave or you separate. You and your kids are the most important things to think of now do whatever you can to save your home even if that means asking him to leave.

Original poster
Justalonelychick · 30/06/2022 09:24

He has been taking out credit cards. They are in his name so I have no idea but I think he's been "keeping up appearances" - eating out etc, looking like he has money, meanwhile we're just getting by. Since he was laid off he just lies on the couch watching Netflix.

OP posts:
OnlyFoolsnMothers · 30/06/2022 09:43

Really sorry he’s done this to you OP, you need to see if you can sell the house (quickly), is there any equity? Can he find any work?

purplecorkheart · 30/06/2022 09:50

Do you want to stay married to this man?

The first thing I would be doing is run a credit check on yourself. I am not 100% certain how it works in Australia but I would want to be making sure that he has not taken out any credit cards in your name.

If you sold the house now would you cover what you owe on it?

I think you need to speak to a debt lines or similar and see what they advise, Speak to the bank and to social welfare and find out what position you will be in if you stay or go.

Nittersing · 01/07/2022 01:03

I'd break up with the couch potato. Put the house on the market ( sooner rather than later as the market is leveling off here ( Aus)before an expected dip by end of the year). You move home to your parents with the kids then see what you can afford with anything left from the house sale.
Absolutely do not let the bank foreclose. It will ruin your credit rating for years and the rental market is very tight at the moment. The odds of getting a rental property would not be favourable. When banks foreclose and sell your property they do not hold out for a good price. Our neighbours house was sold extremely cheaply within 3 days by the bank.
This advice is based on if your equity is higher than what you owe. If you owe more than the house is worth then you may need professional advice as you can't afford to make the wrong decision.
See below -free government provided service.
Call the National Debt Helpline on 1800 007 007 for free and confidential advice from professional financial counsellors. The helpline is open from 9:30 am to 4:30 pm, Monday to Friday.

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