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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Best to avoid contact?

17 replies

whitebunnies · 27/06/2022 18:58

There is a man at work who I was unsure about his marital status. He gets a bit giddy when we have briefly interacted in the past yet is highly confident with everyone else.

I heard him say last week he came back from abroad with his family. Today I noticed he was wearing a ring on his wedding finger so he is married. What really annoys me he has tried to get my attention and stare a lot but I have always avoided it as I had an inkling he was with someone.

I was talking to different me at work today which he saw each time. When I left I work I bumped into him and he looked at me suspiciously. I don't know why he looked at me like that as I am single and just talking to people without an ulterior motive.

I don't understand how he can go round wearing a wedding ring and still try to get my attention.

OP posts:

Original poster

whitebunnies · 27/06/2022 19:01

*I was meant to say talking to different men. Typo said me

OP posts:

User1406 · 27/06/2022 22:15

Yes, avoid him.

He's married, you don't want to get involved in that. You're better in that.

He sounds like he's the controlling type anyway if he's going to take issue with you speaking to other men. He probably gets off on the fact that he thinks you find him desirable, and he's trying to keep a hold of you somehow.

Avoid him the best you can. No good can come out of this situation. You'll get hurt and he'll leave you in pieces. Walk away now whilst your head is still screwed on properly.

Onthedunes · 28/06/2022 03:22

You fancy him don't you.

Yeah he's controlling, stay away it will just lead to problems you can't even imagine.

Watchkeys · 28/06/2022 10:00

I don't understand how he can go round wearing a wedding ring and still try to get my attention

Why do you need to understand why/how? It's disrespectful behaviour, regardless of the reasons. Stay away, and be happy that poor behaviour is outside your realm of understanding.

CJsGoldfish · 28/06/2022 10:06

You make him giddy? What does that even mean?
Then what? You made sure he saw you talking to different men and then bumped in to him later? He looked at you suspiciously?

Are you sure you're not just building up some kind of fantasy in your own mind?

Macbeth8 · 28/06/2022 10:11

TBH you sound like you fancy him and on the verge of pursuing it if perhaps he asks you at/flirts etc.
Don't worry - I've been there. TBH I still have a "work crush" on a happily married family man till this day after 10 years of fantasising about him 🤣. However, that's as far it will ever go.
WOULD NEVER EVER GO THERE.

Please don't too.

Please remember you can have an innocent work crush with a married man but nothing further

Please don't be one of those selfish women.

Also, a few looks here and there may not constitute he fancies you? He may not fancy you because he is a married man with a family.

baileys6904 · 28/06/2022 10:11

Sorry but I agree with @CJsGoldfish are u sure you're not building this upto something it's not?
Even if he does fancy you (which he's not displayed proof of btw- talking, laughing and having eye contact does not a Mills n boon maketh), doesn't mean he'd do anything wrong.

Let's slaughter blokes when they do something wrong not jump to the conclusion that they're all cheating sexist arseholes. Because unless we do that, we are the sexist arseholes instead

Scabbyknackers · 28/06/2022 10:13

Just avoid him where possible. Be civil and professional where you need to communicate for work, try and keep it to email if you can.

Macbeth8 · 28/06/2022 10:14

Macbeth8 · 28/06/2022 10:11

Please don't too.

Please remember you can have an innocent work crush with a married man but nothing further

Please don't be one of those selfish women.

Also, a few looks here and there may not constitute he fancies you? He may not fancy you because he is a married man with a family.

Actually, rereading your post..I dont see how hes giving you attention? Men and women can have a laugh at work, doesnt mean they fancy each other.
I think its you who fancies him and nothing wrong with that just dont act on it!

Cath57 · 28/06/2022 10:14

It doesn't sound like he fancies you, OP.

velvetpeach · 28/06/2022 11:10

He keeps flirting with me www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/4523499-He-keeps-flirting-with-me

So this guy again? The fancying/flirting seems to be coming all from you. There's nothing to show he's interested in you at all, as people told you before.

Shitscared123 · 28/06/2022 13:20

Given this is the second thread, I think you are giving this way too much headspace than it warrants. Obviously, you fancy him and read too much into him calling you “bab”. If it was “babe”, that’s a different kettle of fish .

baileys6904 · 28/06/2022 14:11

Ohhh not this one again....

Original poster

whitebunnies · 28/06/2022 16:03

I have decided it is best to go to the office the days he is not in. I can't be around creepy controlling men.

OP posts:

MamaFoxToBe · 28/06/2022 16:10

whitebunnies · 28/06/2022 16:03

I have decided it is best to go to the office the days he is not in. I can't be around creepy controlling men.

How is he creepy or controlling?

velvetpeach · 28/06/2022 16:35

How is he being at all creepy or controlling?

This is delusional, he has done nothing to suggest he is in the slightest bit interested.

You need to stop obsessing over random men/acquaintances, they aren't the creepy ones in your scenarios...

Macbeth8 · 28/06/2022 20:09

@whitebunnies

For gods sake! You obviously fancy him but I seriously doubt he fancies you. Nothing that you have mentioned would point to him "fancying" you.

If he was creepy, he would have asked you out by now or tried to get your number. Men know when a woman clearly fancies them like you jave obviously shown to the whole of MN.

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