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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Advice needed ASAP please!!!
8

Leo1991 · 27/06/2022 18:57

I really dont know what i am doing anymore my partner of 7 years which we have a 4 year old aswell i was cleaning oit our wardeobe yesterday and found an empty used coke bag i am so livid!! He says its his but from when he was working with his friend qhich is over a year ago and we was in a diffrent hoise when he was speaking to him they dont talk anymore havent for over a year and this magicaly appears.
Im so annoyed angry and uoset the fact it was on the floor and our 4 year old coukd of had it or evan her friends that comes in.
I want him gone but he wont leave our home... its a private rented house both our names are on tennancy agreement. How do i get him out without having an argument because he will end up kicking doors through or worse to get back in and probs go for me. Then the police will get imvolved. I cant deal with all that again im 30 hes 49 and treats me like a child. So many issues.

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MadMadMadamMim · 27/06/2022 19:01

I'd ask the police to remove him on the grounds that I believed he was a danger to our child and that he had had drugs on the premises. Please call them.

It sounds like you are aware he is violent. And it sounds like the police have been involved before.

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Notodaynotever · 27/06/2022 19:01

If he's violent and you can't get him out I think you need woman's aid to advise you. It seems like you'll have to be the one to leave as the priority is getting out.

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sarahonss1 · 27/06/2022 19:02

Are you aware if hes taken it before? i can understand your concern about your 4 year old

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Leo1991 · 27/06/2022 21:29

He has previous history of taken it yes but it was before we got togther over 7 years ago so i didnt think he would do it again with a child here aswell.
I have no where to go so me and my children leaving is not an option theres only hom to move out of i left there is 3 of us to leave and i have no where to go.
He has been violent before yes and thats when drink is involved he kicks off over stupid things ... i wont allow him in our home when hes been drinking and because of that he likes to kick the back or front door in and then shout at me and talk to me like crap infront of our children and leaves me no option but to ring police.
The landlord says he dont mind who stays here aslong as rent is payed but he wont leave and im so worries about getting police involved again. Im a bag of nerves.

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Closetbeanmuncher · 27/06/2022 21:58

You don’t need to live like this OP, and If you can find the courage to do this I promise you it will feel like a huge weight has been lifted.

Can you afford the rent etc alone and do you have any support irl?

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Leo1991 · 28/06/2022 13:11

I know what you mean i just find it hard to leave because of the little one.. shes 4 and i always over think things like will she blame me for breaking up with her dad stuff like that. My son which is not his son hes 11 and they just dont get om they dont evan talk to eachother.
I do have support yes im just scared to actually get my stuff and go.

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MatildaTheCat · 28/06/2022 13:20

You aren’t thinking straight. Your 4 year old should make this an easy decision.
You are living with a violent, abusive drug user. Reach out to the support services and go. That’s all there is unfortunately. Call now. Pack. Go.

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Justcallmebebes · 28/06/2022 13:54

Your children won't blame you for leaving him. Exactly the opposite. As they grow and become more aware of their home life, they'll blame you for staying and not protecting them.

If there are drugs and violence, SS will soon come calling too. Your duty is to your children so please get help to leave

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