Hi, to all mums. I have been wanting to join mums net and been reading topics which i can relate to.. now i wanted to just vent in here. As my partner dont know how to talk.. im just really stressed out and exhausted about everything.
me and my partner have two boys aged 13 and 8, been together for atleast 14 yrs. since were 19 yrs old.
our relationship really didnt grow i think we just kind of stayed because i got pregnant at the age of 19 and he decided to take responsibility and help me through it. (Which was good)
but all through that years i have felt like i have always been the person who wants us to be better. He used drugs back in 2019 and almost became mentally ill for a year, thankfully hes been sanctioned and never been out of hospiital until he was better.
he did got better, no relapse we got back together by the help of family, i talked to him what i wanted, i told him i wanted to get a house for us as renting is just too expensive. He got a job
getting paid well, but thats it, he became lazy again,. I have to ask him to help me out with the chores all the time, we both work full time and i have a business to run- i really just wanted him to help me with the school runs, clean, do the laundry and be more responsible. But now no effort whatsover- even though he can see how exhausted i am- even though i have asked
hiM nicely so many times- he just says okay but never do it? Whyyyy??? I feel bad for my kids they want to go out with their dad but hes too busy playing basketball on his days off with his mates and playing ipad games.
i am ready to get a mortgage next year and his credit is really bad he even have CCJ because he used so much of his credit cards and didnt paid them back.while he was using drugs.! So now i cant even apply a joint mortgage to get us a cheaper house. I can do it myself but having him in application would be much cheaper and hes not interested in sorting out his credit at all ( ihave offered help) but nothing. I am tired of asking him and talking to him which didnt work, he gets upset and all grumpy whenever i open this to him. what to i do? I feel like i just wanted him to leave, but i keep thinking about my boys, and how am i supposed to cope with everything.
i am an exhausted mum, with no one to talk
to, no one to vent, im tired of expecting him to be better for 14 yrs- i want him to be the father everyone wanted.. hes a good man but just lacking of all those things a father have to be..
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Relationships
Partner becoming lazy and wont sort out credit to get a mortgage.
Mum230609 · 27/06/2022 10:48
bellac11 · 27/06/2022 19:34
Thank god you didnt marry him and thank god you wont get a mortgage with him
I would seek some financial input/CAB advice/mortgage broker advice, he needs to leave the flat you're in now and you might be entitled to benefits without him living with you, but what you need to make sure of is that claiming benefits as part of your income wont scupper your mortgage application when it comes round
Mahanii · 27/06/2022 19:29
You can get a mortgage on wage + top up benefits. I got one on my own!
Newestname002 · 27/06/2022 19:18
@Mum230609
his family begged me to take him back for him to fully recover and for the sake of the kids, stupidly agreed and thought it will get better.
Let his family have him back when you are ready to move forward. Get your ducks in a row on the quiet in the meantime. When you are ready get CMS involved as he needs to be financially responsible for his children. 🌹
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