Doing stuff by yourself

[ImJustMadAboutSaffron]

To be honest I'm not sure if Relationships is the right place for this but I didn't know where else would be, either.

I have started doing a lot of stuff by myself. Not all the time, just now and again, because I like the freedom of not having to compromise, have someone complain about "are we going yet?" or having to be back for one thing or another.

Yesterday was sunny so I went out for a drive to a cutesy village and had coffee and breakfast whilst reading a magazine in a lovely coffee shop/bistro, a walk around and then on to the next place with a village green and duck pond, Sunday lunch in the local pub and sitting outside in the sun reading. It was so cathartic and peaceful!

Usually I am running around every day with work, my small business, gym and friends, and this made a change. I like to go around cathedrals, vintage fairs, away days to the coast or country on my own once in a while. I go to the cinema on my own and concerts sometimes if it is something that my friends aren't bothered about.

I'm worried I'm becoming weird!

you are def not weird. Doing stuff alone makes things simpler and easier. No having to change times etc to fit in with someone else or the activity goes on too long because the other person has purposely dragged it out. I have a friend who will go for lunch/walk/afternoon drink with me and purposely drag it out for hours on end as she is single, lives alone and has no reason (in her mind) to go home. Whereas I have DH & DC all at home waiting for me and wondering where I am when an hours walk turns into a 4 hour walk with lunch, courtesy of friend. I like to walk alone because of this and plus my friend's idea of a walk is an idle stroll, whereas I like to walk fast to up the exercise.

Go for it and enjoy it

Not weird. I'm the same, I go to the cinema alone, get a train to little towns with antique shops, and a couple of times had a weekend away on my own at spa type hotels. My DP is the same, he goes and camps alone a couple of times a year with his bike. We need it for our own personal happiness. We do loads together as well, but sometimes nothing beats being on your own!

That seems perfectly normal. I go out myself often, my husband has his cars and motorbikes that he tinkers with or uses, and it suits both of us.

I had a weekend away on the continent recently, he’s going over to Amsterdam for drinks with a friend later in the week.

Most of the time we still very much enjoy being in each other’s company.

Sounds bliss!

You’re not weird. That sounds so nice. I’m introverted but don’t like being alone in public places, hoping this will change with age because I’d love to more things that I enjoy without depending upon others.

It sounds fantastic. I used to take myself off for country walks, into town for coffee, into London to visit museums and exhibitions etc…

I then found myself in an abusive relationship and lost a lot of confidence. I developed a complex about my appearance and now struggle with a sense of everybody looking at me and thinking I’m weird (not because I’m alone, but because I’m ‘me’ 😬). I’m working on it though, I took myself for coffee last week and will be starting therapy soon. I’m looking forward to reaching a stage of feeling free again.

Why would this be weird?

I’ve been to gigs on my own, always found someone to chat to.
There’s nothing wrong with being independent, you never know when you might need it.

Sounds lovely. We don't do masses together really but are happy at home with each other. We do go to church together and have a lot of mutual friends there. He has his hobbies and I have mine and generally it's fine for us both!

I do this all the time. I go out to lunch, for walks, to exhibitions and gigs and travel by myself. Only on MN is this considered weird.

Never worry about being weird. Only worry about being happy, and making sure you stay that way, so that you don't need to continually worry.

l think its really healthy, whether you are in a relationship or not to go off and spend time alone, doing what you want to do. As l have gotten older l am finding l prefer my own company more and more. l am quite impulsive and like to do things on the spur of the moment whithin my own timeframe. l am not afraid to let go of friendships that no longer add anything to my life, and that in itself is freeing.

As I have no friends this is my normal op!!

Not weird at all. My husband has limited mobility and if I didn’t do things by myself, I’d do nothing at all.
even without mobility issues, we had different interests.

Of course it's not weird! I have been married for over 30 years & we often do stuff by ourselves - in my case, theatre, cinema, cafes, watching sport, weekends or weeks away on holiday. I think time alone is so precious.
We do also do things together, and I do stuff with friends, so have the best of all worlds.

Not wanting a relationship at the moment and being a single parent I've got used to doing things on my own.

With a teen I find them very emotionally demanding so I often prefer to do things which don't involved adjusting to anyone else's needs.

So things like cinema (I've got cineworld card so I can 'escape' there anytime i want) - taking myself out for something to eat (break from housework).

I've thought about joining a group but can't be faffed with group dynamics really at the moment. Unless perhaps a book club.

Interestingly enough, on my jaunts out on my own I see many many couples out - who sit in a restaurant - eating out and don't say a word to each other! Either they are bored with each other, have nothing to say to each other - or otherwise I don't know, but I often think compared to being in a relationship like that - I'd rather have my own company!

No, it's not weird to do things on your own. Sooner or later we all have to - I used to travel on my own a lot when I was younger and if you are on your own you are forced to mingle with the local population - whereas in a group or with a partner you may not bother.

I do this loads, I consider it to be very valuable me time. My favourite is a day trip shopping and lunch out on my own

It sounds like you are having a lovely time but why would any of that be weird?

I used to always extend work trips (when they were a thing) so I could have a day /evening wondering around by myself somewhere new.

If I'm going off to visit someone I'll often build a day by myself in.

It's rude to boast OP 🤪 nah honestly that sounds brilliant to me.

That sounds like a lovely day OP. You're not weird for doing things by yourself and enjoying it. I like my own company and wish I had a bit more time to do more by myself like go for a coffee or a wander round the shops but I find it difficult at the moment with two very young DC. Perhaps when they're a bit older!

Far from weird, it should be completely normal for people (esp women) to go and do things they enjoy.

I go to gigs alone, to festivals alone, out for dinner alone... I have 2 children and a boyfriend but sometimes I like to do things on my own 🤷🏻‍♀️

I have no friends or DC so I often find myself doing stuff alone. Sometimes I feel it would be nice to have someone to share moments with, get to go shopping with etc. but I really struggle with social interaction. Atleast it means I get to do what I want, when I want I suppose 😂

I do alot alone. Sometimes times dont suit people. But I like company too. But sometimes I enjoy a coffee/beach walk on my own.

I LOVE this post. Not weird at all. It's actually rather inspiring and empowering. Everyone should have the confidence that you have to be able to do things alone.

It's nice to feel at ease in your own company.