Ghosted

[Rose087]

Feeling absolutely awful. New ish relationship, only a few months in, but we have known each other for several years. We had plans to go out this weekend, he has ignored me since thursday evening, but has been active on social media/WhatsApp and out with friends, so I know there hasn’t been any sort of emergency meaning he hasn’t been in touch.

I messaged yesterday checking in, he read my message and did not respond. I am 99.9% sure that he is just ending the relationship by ghosting me. It’s so hurtful, not just the fact that things are ending and I really liked him, but the fact he doesn’t even respect me enough to even send a message saying it’s not working for him.

probably a bad idea but I sent a text this morning explaining that I found it really unkind that he had ended things this way, and would have preferred a simple text or call at least, and that I won’t be in touch again.

has anyone else been in a similar situation to me, or has any words of wisdom? I feel absolutely dreadful.

Looks like he has also deleted me off Facebook as I can’t see his profile anymore. Unless he has deactivated/deleted his whole profile, which seems unlikely 😣

Sorry op what a cowardly prick
I had this after 15 months and to make it worse we worked in the same building. He totally loved bombed , future faked and then ghosted me. It was horrific
My only advice is to keep to your word about no more contact . In fact block him on everything too
And keep yourself busy busy busy to take your mind off it

Ignore, block and delete.
There's nothing else you can do, really.

Cowardly thing to do, you are better off without.

ugh it’s awful isn’t it. Similar thing with me, he was really full on, claimed he hadn’t felt this way about anyone before, spoke about children etc etc - obviously none of that was true, I feel foolish for falling for it, but my feelings were genuine.

I’m sure once the dust has settled and I’m less emotional I’ll see him for the pathetic coward he is. At the moment I’m just too upset to feel angry yet.

I am going to block him off everything now; on the off chance he tries to get in contact I will just block on whatever platform and forget about it.

thanks for the words of advice 💐

It probably doesn't feel like it but you've really dodged a bullet. This says soo much about his character.

Yeah mine was banging on about marriage just before this happened
I'm divorcing someone else now but it's the ghoster that puts me off ever trying again
I find it terrifying that someone can just pull the rug so unexpectedly

The man is a coward.

Better to know that now that to keep investing in that type of loser.

Block him and put him out of your mind.

I think your text was fine. Your reaction is completely understandable and people like him should be called out on their poor behaviour.

if you have friends in common though I think I personally could not help but mention what an idiot he was if his name comes up in conversations...I would want to know if an acquaintance is behaving poorly when it comes to relationships as I probably would make me want to distance myself from them because of it.

@Rose087 I was with someone for 5 years. He sulked one day over something horrible HE had said to me..I left him to
it..I never heard from him again..it’s been nearly a year now. Some men are absolute cowards who haven’t grown up. Feel
yourself lucky, although it may not feel like it right now you will see this in another light

Really sorry OP. I think your message is very dignified…. Now make sure you follow through and never contact him again.

Ahhh this is so shit. I've done this to people, to my shame. It's usually because we've been chatting, getting on well, perhaps met once and at the time i was feeling positive and said so! Then inexplicably it changed but i felt guilty and couldnt explain the 360 so I'd do a slow fade or just outright ghost. Cowardly behaviour and pretty immature!!

I had it done to me too.... karma.... and since then, I've sent a nice polite message if i change my mind and no longer just dissapear. It hurt me so much and im ashamed i did it to others...

Says nothing about you and lots about the coward who ghosts. We do learn, eventually.

Ps. He is likely to return. Make sure you don't respond!!!!

Thanks for the replies. I have to admit I blocked him everywhere aside from his number, as I wanted to know if he had even a shred of decency in him to respond to my text, but he has ignored that too.

I’ve felt horrendous all day. The relationship was only a few months in, but we saw each other almost daily, and I really thought we would be together for a long time.

Clearly he isn’t the man I thought he is, but it’s very hurtful - i had to sneak off at work today to go for a cry.

Cowards ghost. They don't have the manners or decency to just say how they feel/it's not working etc - some appear again later and assume all ok.

A ghosting person whether he/she is not a catch. Move on and forget and find someone better with decency and manners who values you.

He's treated you horribly OP. Ghosting is so cruel and people don't realise the hurt it causes. Really hope you feel better soon & if he ever does come crawling back, you have the strength to tell him to f##k right off..

Op very sorry for you not nice the way he did it. Hope you ok.

I hope you're feeling a bit better since you posted. For someone to do this when they're in a relationship with you is just awful.

You're better off without him and it's lucky you figured this out sooner rather than later.

Don't bother waiting/asking for an explanation from him. And if he comes back (because he most likely will once he sees you've lost interest), don't even go there. He'll do it again.

Don't let him knock your self-esteem. It's all him.

Ghosters have a habit of coming back to haunt you when their latest muse doesn't turn out as hoped, or loses the excitement of the initial thrill. Make sure you block and refuse all communication. No one needs to be in a long term relationship with someone who cannot communicate. It is just pure hell. While hurtful, thank your lucky stars that you found out what he is like now. Never forgive his immature approach to ending things, and move on with your life head held high.

I spoke to friends about this and they admit complete cowardice. Weirdly driven by not wanting to hurt feelings, and/or not wanting to deal with a reaction.
I think you were right to send the message saying he hurt you, that's the line drawn under it. Now keep busy, focus on his bad points, don't question anything that went on between you, and every week it will get easier.

Bastard

Hi all, thanks for all the replies. He read my message and he replied but he then deleted his response on WhatsApp before I saw it, so it just shows up as ‘this message was deleted’, he truly is pathetic and I think sending a message then deleting it, knowing I’d see the deletion message, was a little mind game of some sort.

I’m still really hurt but starting to return to reality a bit and I can acknowledge that I don’t want someone this nasty as my partner anyway.

it’s a massive shame he has done this and it will definitely make me more wary dating in the future, but I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it!

Thanks again for the words of wisdom and support.

Hmm I wonder if he sent the message to check if you had blocked him or not?

Block him everywhere, otherwise he will think the door is still open for him x

You were right to send him that dignified message. Call him out on his behaviour. He is very much in the wrong and whoever ends up with him won’t be a winner.

Apart from that, it’s a break-up - we’ve all been through it - at least you can comfort yourself that you haven’t been dumped by someone nice! Patience Grasshopper. One day soon you’ll wake up and you’ll be over him.