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The love has gone
5

PardonMyGenie · 26/06/2022 22:17

We have been married for nearly 30 years. A few years ago she left me for another man (a work colleague) but I took her back after a year. The love had gone out of our marriage for me by then.but I had missed her company.
I felt that she didn't respect me any more, i suffered with depression and she worked really hard to earn the money to keep the house and everything going. I worked as well but didn't earn as much because I did fewer hours
We got a dog, then another and another. We both wanted them but it was mad, really. The dogs took my place in any affection she'd ever had for me. If they wanted to sit on the settee where I was sitting, she told me to move. She wanted the dogs to sleep on our bed and I didn't so she said I had to sleep in the other room, which I did.
I stopped wanting to make love and she wasn't bothered anyway. That was twelve years ago.
Now our last dog has died and she has started being affectionate towards me, touching me (not sexually) as though she's suddenly realised I'm still there and she can pet me instead.
However I cringe when she touches me. I still like her company mostly and I'm fond of her, but I find her very irritating now.
I'm 63, I've got one or two great mates and I just want to leave.

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User1406 · 26/06/2022 22:54

Sounds like you already know what you need to do. Leave.

It can be hard leaving a long-term relationship but she's taken you for granted for all this time. The bottom line is, you don't want to be with her anymore. It's okay to admit that and move on.

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KangarooKenny · 27/06/2022 06:52

There’s nothing wrong with a companionship relationship when you’re older, but if you want to go, go. I’m assuming you’re not shackled to the kitchen sink ?

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HowlongWillThisTakeNow · 27/06/2022 07:19

So she replaced you with dog in her affections ?
Can you afford to leave, as that seems like the thing to do, or get a rescue dog for her to pet while you live your own life.

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YRGAM · 27/06/2022 07:21

You don't have to live like this, and to paraphrase the Fleabag psychologist I think you already know what you need to do and what you're going to do.

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Onthedunes · 28/06/2022 02:21

Would she be upset if you left ?

Have you told her you wan't to leave, where would you go and would you expect her to sell up and move herself ?

Sounds as though your mind is made up.

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