Cut things off fully or play it out?

[ano124]

Looking to see if I should just cut contact or his he taking me for a mug basically.

I've been seeing this guy on and off recently, we have put a stop to it a few times but always end up going back, in the start we both said we didn't want a relationship but then I caught feelings and said I did, after this we put a stop to it but kept talking everyday and went back to casually seeing each other going on dates/ staying over ect.
This is first person I've been with since coming out a long term relationship and we click instantly, have lots in common and get on really well and I see a different side to him than what he puts on for everyone else to see.
When we have said we are stopping things he is open that he wants to see other people but never does which makes me think he's just keeping me here to fall back on or doesn't want a relationship because of past trauma but likes having me around, at a loss the now and never had to experience this since I was with other partner since I was 15..

He’s stringing you along, sorry OP. But he’s not ever going to commit. Find someone who is straightforward and wants to spend real time with you.

He doesn't want a relationship. You have feelings for him. This isn't a romcom. He isn't going to discover he does want a relationship with you if you perform 'girlfriend' to him satisfactorily.

If you want a relationship, you need to find someone who also wants a relationship. And preferably one who isn't going to string you along for casual sex.

You're going to get hurt by him. Walk away. I know sometimes it can feel like you'd rather have half of him than none of him, but it will only end in heartbreak. You'll get more and more attached as time goes on and he'll just be wasting your time.

He doesn't want to commit. He just likes having you there and the attention you give him. He knows that if things don't work out elsewhere, you are always going to be an option to him.

Are you happy to be just an option?

As others said. He doesnt want a relationship, if he did he'd be clear as day about it.

he's just keeping me here to fall back on or doesn't want a relationship because of past trauma but likes having me around

You are right. This is your intuition; listen to it, even though it's hard.

In any healthy relationship, it wouldn't even cross your mind that you were being taken for a mug.

Why are you engaging with someone who you think might do that?

Don't try to psychoanalyse him or make this something it's not. He's open that he wants to see other people. That doesn't necessarily mean he will shag anyone hence there hasn't been anyone else yet (or he may just not want to discuss it with you if there has been) but it does mean that if someone comes along who he takes a shine to then he wants to be free to date them. You do not want this, you want a committed relationship. He is honest that he doesn't wish to offer that but is happy enough having you around casually. I think best to move on. You're incompatible and its you that will get hurt.