Hi, seeking some advice about a past break up.
My ex split with me in January. I was heartbroken because it just seemed like he didn’t want to work on our issues.
However, a lot of self-reflection and therapy has made me realise a lot. I was mentally in an awful place. I didn’t have a relationship with myself. I hated time alone. I relied on him fully, I was codependent, I wanted constant validation from him. He eventually ended it, stating that he couldn’t do it anymore and for his own well-being he had to leave. We both recognised we had an amazing connection and intimacy but it wasn’t working out. It ended nicely and he said I wasn’t a bad person, and he was really sorry.
I’m now truly happy. I’m spending more time alone, I’m thriving in therapy, I’m realising that I really am a good person. I’m able to take rejection, I’m not a people pleaser anymore, I do things for MYSELF. I took up martial arts, I go to the gym, I got a promotion at work. I don’t NEED a boy in my life and haven’t spoken to a single person. I don’t need that validation.
I’ve realised my role in the relationship. And it wasn’t a good one. I know now exactly how I’d fix things and I am really on my way to healing.
And yet, I still think about my ex every day. Not in a longing way, but fondly. I don’t need him, but boy do I still want him. I feel that our relationship could really have thrived if I was in this state when i met him. And, whilst he wasn’t perfect, he was a perfectly decent guy who always treated me with respect. And we were GOOD together.
We haven’t been in contact for 4 months, apart from the odd exchange of items.
So, do I reach out…?