I've posted about my recent ex before - love bombed , future faked , led me on . Dumped me without warning saying He actually just realised he wasn't in love , I just met his attachment needs and I wasn't driven enough with enough friends and hobbies .
He also promptly went into therapy saying he confused being in love with being accepted because he was on the spectrum.
We stayed vaguely in touch and I admit that part of the reason was I wondered if when he'd sorted his head out with the therapy he might come back to me . He said he gets his sense of worth from doing things for people , knew he was great in bed because he derived self worth from satisfying a partner , etc etc .
I believed initially that we were very similar , we had the same ideals and values and tastes and politics etc .
It soon dawned on me he was actually quite self absorbed and cruel . He had arranged to meet me last week then cried off last minute.
I sent a message yesterday asking how he was doing .
He replied saying the therapy was interesting . That he had been on two dates with someone but had broken it off because they were developing feelings for him and he thinks it's not fair on anyone . Before me he was with a woman who was much younger but expected him to dump his kids at 18 to have more with her .
He's throwing himself into his mad hobbies and (jkerazzeeee) lifestyle . He had his two children 50 % of the time yet told me he'd tried to hook up on tinder for sex while on holiday with them . He'd introduced me to them in the first month of dating him. He can't be alone or sit still or entertain himself. He uses swinging sites for sex when single .
I'd been hanging on hoping he'd see me when he was more sorted .
Clearly not .
So I messaged saying he wasn't actually a giving sort at all, that he is actually quite self absorbed and thinks only of himself in a relationship or dating . That he's a shit father for wanting to get sex while on holiday with his kids when he has 50 % of his time alone anyway, that he lied to me and had treated me like shit and that I'm out .
I've now deleted everything, blocked him , and realise it's time to let go .
I need to reassess my boundaries because initially , when I first met him I was t attracted to him and I said we could be friends . He's a lanky , skinny , fairly unattractive man but with nice eyes and he wore me down a bit saying I was perfect for him and he'd cried after the date because he'd gone to kiss me and I'd pulled away and blah blah blah blah blah .
I'm 50 years old and I think I may be alone for a lot longer . I've been single 3 years before meeting him . I'd been dating for 2 years and I really don't seem to click easily with people. My tastes are a bit off the wall clearly .
I've done the right thing here haven't I ? Blocked . Deleted . Gone . He'd gone anyway . He'd totally done a fucking number on me . He knew I'd come out of a bad relationship and lost a baby late term , he'd gushed about how amazing and resilient I was and how amazing I was blah blah blah . Then out of the blue one night he came over , dumped me and left saying he's just realised the day before he didn't actually love me .
Cruel . Circus boy . He with the fucking batshsit hobbies . Circus skills and samba . I'm too boring because I relax and watch Netflix and do yoga . I'm not entertaining enough or interesting.
So I've let him go with a fuck off and good luck .