Thoughts on these examples pls.

[Vapinginbed]

So if these things happened what were your thoughts be. I’ll try to be non biased.

If it was Xmas day and someone and asked you to give them and their child a life home. You agreed and said you wanted to go home now. They’re watching something so you agree to stay till then. Then they want to watch something else so you assert yourself slightly. Then they have a big fuss because you’re demanding them go. They tell you you’ve ruined Xmas day and storm home late dark and cold with child in arms refusing lift.

you’re getting married. Invite person and family. Ask for meal choices as restaurant need to know. They don’t speak to you for months or come on hen do. Then they decide last minute night before they’re coming and give you meal choices.

Two years ago you leave an abusive man. This man sees the above person as he knows it will hurt you. This man fails to go to kids sports day but goes sees this persons kid playing football.

many other examples. These just stand out.

i know it’s vague. I’m scared of people finding out.

I'm not sure what you are asking.

Neither adult cares about you. Both sound toxic.

Both horrible,selfish people.Cut them out of your life.

I wouldn't be wasting my time trying to work any of this out. Turn your back on people who treat you badly. Don't give them another thought, unless you like spending your time thinking about how badly you've been treated. I'm sure there are more fun things to do, though?

I know after some of the earlier things I had counselling. But this ex thing has made old feeling steer their ugly heads. It’s so hard. And it makes me feel like a bad person. Like I’m to blame.

Ignore what your ex does, you know he's just doing shit to fuck with your head.

Your sister sounds like a pain in the arse and I'd reduce contact as much as possible.

I'm guessing this person is either your best friend or your sibling?

Both they and your ex are awful, and no, you aren't to blame for any of it.

Neither of these people are worth your time.

Is the person in each scenario the same person?
Block and move on
Oh and don't offer them a lift!!

Don’t totally know who we are talking about here due to vagueness, however…
avoid these toxic people; and if you are driving, people expecting a lift leave when you say!

You are not to blame. They are both bullies.

This is people acting like they are above you and expect you to run around after them at their whim, not yours. It's blatantly unfair, yet they expect you to suck it up.

I've bought a book about people pleasing and its said, 'this book will help you cope with being disliked'. People who want to take the piss out of you won't like you for not allowing that. Your job is to see and act on your feelings.

Shift your mindset away from feeling bad and get into the fact that grown ass women can't let themselves be treated like shit. End of.

If it was Xmas day and someone and asked you to give them and their child a life home. You agreed and said you wanted to go home now. They’re watching something so you agree to stay till then. Then they want to watch something else so you assert yourself slightly

As an aside, I was in a similar situation once. Someone asked for a lift home. I said yes and was going at X time. It got to X time and they said they needed another half hour. As it was only half an hour, I agreed. Half an hour later, it needed to be later.

I just said, "OK, well I need to go now. I've got things to do." Thanked the hosts and left. If you're doing someone a favour, they don't get to dictate the terms of that favour.

If you're actually assertive, people tend to just accept it because they know they're being twats and don't want your full response. If you're only 'slightly assertive', you're still giving them the power and just hoping that they're not going to abuse it. They know that too.

Why does it make you feel like that?

You must be able to see when people are being dicks and taking the piss.

Why would you care what they think of you?