Abusive man likely to get entire house if I leave him - Scotland

[Sunflowers2022]

I'm about to take my daughter out for the day while my husband is out. Its because I cannot stand the wait for him to come back not knowing if he'll walk through the door and shout
at me, call me names etc. This is the way it is all the time. My relatives and my previous boss who became a good friend have said I need to leave. I do need to go. We have a house - We have been together 15 years but the house is in his name. We are in Scotland - I earn more than him and have poured money into the house. He has told me that in Scotland the wife does not get 50% of the house. I would actually be lucky to get 10%. What I have read is that we would need to buy a house together and then that would be legally considered the family home, but because he had the house before I met him, even though I've paid for it for 15 years, it is not considered a family home and I have no rights to any of the value. Does anyone know the truth of this? Or has anyone been through the same? He knows the rules as he is divorced, his ex wife with two children got a cash payment but did not get any value from the house. I think I am best pretending this is normal, get him to agree to move, do six more months in he'll, just develop a thick skin to the name calling, then divorce him so myself and my daughter get enough to get a new house for ourselves.

Have you contacted Women's aid for support.

Please call them for advice.

Speak to a solicitor not a forum of would be lawyers whilst meaning to helpful could give you wrong advice

Good luck

Have you met with a solicitor that has a shit hot record for getting someone in your position a good deal? You need to do that.

Well firstly he’s talking absolute shit about assets and divorce.

and secondly, speak to a solicitor who will outline exactly how much shit he’s talking and what you are entitled to.

He’s abusive. Trying to terrify you so you feel you can’t leave is what abusive bastards do.

You need a lawyer.

Go and talk to a real lawyer, who knows Scottish law and can advise you properly. Do NOT let your husband dictate the terms of your divorce - get a good lawyer and let them help you.

Five minutes Googling suggested that the starting point for split of matrimonial assets is 50:50 in Scotland just like it is in England, so you know he's talking shit on that at least. Get yourself a good lawyer.

Starting point is 50/50 in Scotland. Why would you trust what he says anyway?

Hi, I have some knowledge in this field in Scots Law.

You are right, the home wouldn’t necessarily be classed as a marital asset as it was a pre existing interest of your husband’s prior to the marriage and wasn’t (I assume) purchased just before your marriage with a view to being a martial home. Therefore, you, technically, don’t have an interest in the property and assume if you aren’t on the title that you are not on any outstanding mortgage.

However, it’s not as simple as that. Any monies you can prove you have paid towards the mortgage or have been taken from joint accounts, any improvements in the house can be used as leverage and an expression of an interest. Usually in these matters, a fair settlement can be reached by using whatever leverage is available, so your husband is absolutely incorrect to say that you don’t have some entitlement to the equity built up in the property - over the course of your marriage you will certainly have acquired some interest there. Further, as the marital residence you also are entitled to live there, whether on title or not, until a settlement is reached.

Technically it would be more simple if you sold the property and purchased another one together, and then split. However if you are then tied into fixed term mortgage deals with expensive early redemption fees then you have to figure that into your plans. Also, it would mean staying longer in an unhappy and somewhat abusive situation, which is not ideal.

Firstly I would engage a family solicitor in getting advice around the property and your entitlements there. Do not let him deceive you into thinking you have no rights.

Thank you @WilsonMilson I will get a lawyer, but this has cleared up some confusion for me as I'd googled this and had thought I could actually be told to leave. That's good to know that I can't. I can stand his behaviour for an interim period as neither I nor my daughter are in danger, it I just unpleasant. He had been told we are separated and that any shouting, I will take my daughtee to my parents house. I will sleep a bit better tonight.

In exactly the same situation as you and my ex is getting the house and I’m getting the pension. It’s for a court to decide but my legal fees are 20k already to settle out of court. pm me if you like, I’m also in Scotland x

Scottish Women’s Aid are able to provide excellent advice/ referrals in these situations either on the phone or by email

I do know that when I moved into my then bf house and we decided to sell to buy our own house the solicitor had to get me to sign an agreement saying I agreed to the sale. This was despite me having no money in the house, no name on the deeds etc,. I had simply been living there for a couple of years and yet my then bf couldn't have just sold his house without my agreement.
We are Scotland too.

He's talking shit. Get a lawyer and get what you are owed which is way more than he thinks.

Sunflowers, I agree that contacting Women's Aid is a good idea, they will be able to advise of solicitors specialising in that kind of work in your area. They will also give you practical advice about how to handle your husband.

I would not say anything to him about separating just now, keep your cards close to your chest while you're getting your ducks in a row. You say you and your daughter aren't in physical danger but this is the most dangerous time and he might just flip. Try and keep things as normal as possible so he doesn't sense something is going on