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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I don't know where to go for help

1 reply

CH4R7 · 26/06/2022 13:07

I have an ex who is a burden in my life. He's practically an alcoholic and I know he doesn't like being who he is because he's always trying to stop but something will happen in life that stresses him out and he drinks again. He'll spend all his money in one night then sells what he can after that phones watches clothes even the car. I'm the one who suffers because I have to pay for everything once its gone. I've moved out 3 times and give the house up to while he's out drinking but he pesters me at work or my family's house so end up going back to save the embarrassment. I got him his own flat and because of his behaviour he had it took off him. He ended up homeless over Xmas and was sleeping in my car and some nights it was freezing I was living in my mams who she won't allow in the house. I felt so guilty sleeping in a bed but then I had to spend all day in the car taking him to showers and feeding him. He was 6 months off the drink and eventually I got another house because no one would help not even the authorities. Every thing was fine but I could see he was really trying and he got tested a lot of times eventually he went back on drink so I left and told him your not staying with me while your drinking. While I was out he smashed the window to my home and is now staying there wrecking the place and I'm forced to stay at my mams he blackmails me to put electric on and give him money for food. Now I'm homeless I have to stay at mams. If I phone police they lock him 24 hours then bring him back and phone social services and the school so i scarred to tell anyone. I've also phoned solicitors for a non molestation and it costs to much.

OP posts:
Pegsonstrings · 26/06/2022 13:17

I was married to an alcoholic. I know you want to help him by being around but you are harming yourself in the process. Try alanon, for yourself. You will need to stop enabling him by responding to him. Try womens rights and woman’s aid too. They should be able to assist with the practical things.

with all the above, can you bullet point it as you will need to remember and go over with woman’s aid why you need their assistance. Woman’s aid website has also got links to your local woman’s aid refuge. This is where you will get help.

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