Hi,
I'm not really sure what I'm after with this thread, I think I just need to get some views on whether I'm being unfair to get fed up about this. This ended up being really long - well done if anyone makes it through!!
TL;DR: I feel I make all the effort to see family but maybe that's fair since I moved about 3 hrs away....
Long version: after uni, like so many, I moved where the jobs were and am now based about 3hrs from "home". My family still live where I grew up. In the time I have lived here (almost 15yrs) I can count on both hands the number of times any family have visited me.
When my DM was alive, DP would sometimes holiday near where I live to see me, or DF would come up and we'd go to see motorbike events.
Since DM died (10yrs ago) my DF has been up maybe twice (including for my wedding) but does do "half way" meet ups which seems a bit more fair. One aunt occasionally (maybe 3 times in 15yrs) has been in the area and popped in. DB has only been up once - for my wedding. Same with other family.
The travelling alone is a bummer, but I think what really is getting to me is when I do go down, I have to do all the organisation. So despite me not living there for over a decade, I'm the one ringing around restaurants and organising who can go where/when/paying deposits etc. Again my DF is better for this, in that if I just organise to see just him he will sort the rest. But for get a together of a bigger group it's all on me.
Wow this is already so long!
I think I just feel like they don't give a fuck if they see me or not, so if I organise literally everything they will turn up, but if there is any more expectation than that they wouldn't bother. Which makes me feel pretty crap to be honest.
I'm not sure why I'm asking really, I'm not going to say anything to them as most are getting on now, so my time to ask has passed really. I guess just whether I'm being fair to be upset, or not. So I can "decide how I feel" and move on!
Sorry for length!