Sex after 3 kids

[birdglasspen]

Resuming sexual relationship after three children…
I’ve just realised that if we dont have sex by November that will be two years! We have a 5, 3 and almost 1 year old. DH has never been really into it since our first year of being together…knocking on for 15 years now and finding it hard to know where to even start. I’m too tired from caring for kids all day and he very rarely is interested as his job is physical, tiring and long hours! Or is it not unusual?! I just worry that one day we will want to and it will be really strange! Being drunk might help but with three kids that isn’t happening! 😂 we’re also terrified of having more kids but I also don’t want to be on pill and can’t travel for coil at present! This is our form of contraception! 🙄

I would be concerned about my marriage if I were you. You might be knackered now, but this stage will settle down and you'll get your lives back. Is this what you want for the rest of your life an marriage? As for birth control, ask your husband to get a vasectomy.

I think it sounds like you need to sort out contraception first! Three kids is tiring but if you can both stay awake until they are all asleep you are on the right track - I think it gets harder with teenagers!

Definitely contraception and try and make time. Had 3 kids with my wife and we had fantastic sex life when things settled down with kid routines or made time using babysitters to get away for a while. Talked about it and ignited some passion.

“DH has never been really into it since our first year of being together…knocking on for 15 years now and finding it hard to know where to even start.”

This doesn’t seem like a problem stemming from having had three kids if you’ve always had mismatched libidos and struggled with a satisfying sex life. Having kids may have exacerbated it, but doesn’t sound as though much (if any) passion and desire was present in the first place. He has to be fully on board in addressing this with you. Have you spoken to him?

Ask him to get the snip and go from there.
Even though we were bone tired, that stress relief from not worrying about pregnancy and fiddling with contraceptive was enough for a boost.

I think the kids are irrelevant really if it's been going on 15 years. We have three kids, youngest is 6 months and have sex 2-3 times a week.

I must admit when I read these threads I'm baffled why you haven't just had a conversation about it!