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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Toxic relationship

3 replies

breakupmess · 25/06/2022 20:04

I went through a horrible break up two weeks ago. It was an utterly toxic and abusive relationship and I am so relieved to be out of it. I feel like a different person. The actual break up was horrendous. He was absolutely vile and made me out to be abusive etc. All the typical gaslighting and self projecting bullshit. Because I am a nice (and stupid) person, I contacted him the days after our huge bust up, to end things on a nice note. After all, it wasn't all bad, although it mostly was. I was just an idiot forgiving his shortcomings, He threatened to call the police on me if I went near him again - I hadn't done anything to him, I wasn't harassing him, or being aggressive or anything! That's when I realised I couldn't end things in a civilised or decent way with him and I was an idiot for thinking I could. He has the potential to do some seriously awful things to me.

Anyway he blocked me on all channels. Which was a relief. And I started to move on with my life. A few days ago, though, he unblocked me. I was going to block him, but then became curious as to whether he would send an apology. I thought he may again do the decent thing. But nothing. I can't help but think he has unblocked me, thinking I would notice and send him a message. As if. Why else would he?

And, yes, don't worry I am not sat here thinking much about him at all. I am keeping busy and enjoying calm and posivity in my life, surrounding myself with loved ones. I'm just curious why he would threaten the police then unblock me - as if I am so awful!

OP posts:
RoyKentsChestHair · 25/06/2022 20:06

You can’t reason with crazy. He’s clearly unhinged so don’t try and work out the whys and hows of his twisted mind, just thank your lucky stars you’re free and block the fucker, so you’re not even tempted.

User1406 · 25/06/2022 22:05

Just block him and then delete. Otherwise you may be tempted to reach out. He's probably just messing with your head. Either that, or he's decided to delete you instead of block you. Someone used to do that to me as it meant that I could still reach out for him to respond, but he'd never be the first to reach out as he didn't have my number anymore.

I know you say you're not thinking about him much, but you obviously checked something to be able to know he has now unblocked you? For that reason, I'd block and delete. You don't want to go back there.

gingersplodgecat · 25/06/2022 22:08

Agree with others, block, delete, and forget the bastard ever existed.

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